Do you ever have weeks where the monotony of life feels like it is slowly tearing you apart. Like your four limbs are on a stretching machine being turned one tiny crank at a time. That's how this week was feeling. I wake up every day at the same time and shower, dress, wash up,eat breakfast and read, lock the door, get in my car, drive the same route, open my classroom, go to the office, get my room ready, answer questions, teach, answer more questions, get ready for the next day, go home, eat, grade, stay up too late, wash up, sleep, repeat!
It gets a little depressing despite how great my life is. I usually solve this by traveling, but I can't do that yet. Sometimes reading a new exciting book helps, but right now I'm addicted to the Ender's Shadow series and I have to read until I finish which means that I've been reading about the same characters for weeks.
But then I had my Saturday. I spent much of the day trying to do the tasks I needed to do without breathing much of the smoke-filled air. But at 4:30 I was at my school ready to take the Helping Hands club kids to the Long Beach Symphony. A group of nine kids volunteered to help pass out information about the symphony's Holiday Celebration concert. Another teacher and I drove the kids to the Terrace theater where they wore reindeer antlers and scarves and passed out fliers and candy canes to the people coming to the concert. As a reward, my kids got to stay for the symphony for free.
My kids did such a great job. The shy ones followed people like stalkers until they were noticed and then quietly handed them the information and the candy. My more bold ones improved upon my scripted spiel and had quite a fan club because of it. "Welcome to the Long Beach Symphony. Would you like some information about the Holiday Celebration? If you have any questions, please see the people at the table over there. I hope you have a wonderful holiday and enjoy the performance." Seriously, no one could help but smile at an adorable, tiny, Filipino girl in a Santa hat.
I stood watch at the stairs, I was also wearing antlers, but not passing out information. People came up to me as if I were one of the adorable helpers and made all sorts of comments. The most disturbing was a man who grabbed onto one of the antlers and then proceeded to have a conversation with me. He kept lapping around the lobby and winking at me...that was weird.
Another woman walked by and commented about how cute the kids were. I noticed that she had a Germanic accent so I quickly said (before I could lose my courage) "Sind Sie Deutsch?" and she quickly responded, "Ja, Ich bin Deutsch. Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" We then continued a conversation in German and I was practically floating from excitement. I didn't do too bad.
After first intermission I saw her again, "Guten Abend, Ilse!" I called to her. "Guten Nach, Brenda," she replied. Then she said, in German, "You are not more than sixteen?" I thought I must have misunderstood so I told her as much. "Are you 18?" She asked in German. I smiled and responded, "Ich bin neun und swanzig!" I won't translate, but she was shocked. I told her that I was in fact the teacher of these students and not one of the students. She laughed and said that she had to use the proper form "Sie" instead of the informal "du" because I was old enough. I laughed and said she could call me whatever she wanted. We continued talking in Germ-lish about her experiences as a school child in Nazi Germany and later as a trained nurse in England.
As if talking to Ilse wasn't enough to make me feel total joy, and seeing my kids rock wasn't enough added bonus, people kept asking me for directions. Now, you may not know, but my favorite thing in life is to answer questions. Seriously, I love to answer any questions, even if I don't know the answer and have to make one up. So to have patrons and volunteers ask, "Where is the balcony?" or "Where is the nearest restroom?" or "When does the pre-concert lecture begin?" I pointed and directed as if I was there for that reason and I smiled like a fool.
My favorite moment of personal shame came when I was privileged to meet the composer of one of the works played that evening. She was an elegantly dressed Mexican woman who was so eloquent in her pre-performance discussion about her piece. I wanted to tell her how excited I was to hear her 'prayer set to music' so I approached her in the lobby and told her as much. She politely thanked me and shook my hand. It was only after she walked away that I realized I was still wearing my antlers...only me...
So the monotony of life was broken, if just for a day, and I am encouraged enough to begin this week again. If I feel myself slipping into the humdrum, I'll just imagine talking with Ilse or I'll pull out those antlers and go for a walk...maybe someone will ask me a question!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Why malaria is a bad thing for a hypochondriac to get.
I'm sure that I'm going to die of some horrible disease some day. I joke about this fear (that is greatly fed by my mother), but it really is there. Most people have a strange ache and think, "What did I do yesterday that would make me ache like this?" I have a strange ache and think, "Oh, man, I'm sure I have Leukemia!" I brush it aside casually as a stupid overreaction, but inside I'm still sure that I have Leukemia.
So yesterday, on the way to school, I started to feel dizzy. Not just light headed, but world is spinning a bit kind of dizzy. I had eaten my normal breakfast, slept about 6 hours, so the normal reasons for dizziness weren't there. When I got to school, I didn't feel right. I felt nauseous and dizzy and tired. I went to the school office to do my morning routine when one of my coworkers asked about how I was doing. When I explained my dizziness, he said, "Ah, it's just the malaria." and I panicked. Did my malaria come back? How would I get it checked since the last test took too long to get back to me.
This was how I felt the day I was diagnosed with malaria: just a bit off, a little dizzy, a little nauseous. Maybe I do have it again! I decided that I should keep my blood sugar up and hydrate myself, so I grabbed a big stick Popsicle from the freezer and continued on to my class (any excuse for ice cream - in fact I think that's why I'm a hypochondriac. Who can deny a sick person ice cream?!).
By the end of the day, I felt just fine. I worked late and came home as normal. I'm sure I was just dizzy from low blood sugar. It wouldn't be the first time. I just think it's funny that my hypochondria now has even more ammunition...I just better not tell my mother because she'll just make me think that I really could be sick. Trust me, I'm not. I slept just fine last night for over 8 hours and I ate a full breakfast today. I certainly couldn't have done that when I had malaria. Trust me, I'm fine.
So yesterday, on the way to school, I started to feel dizzy. Not just light headed, but world is spinning a bit kind of dizzy. I had eaten my normal breakfast, slept about 6 hours, so the normal reasons for dizziness weren't there. When I got to school, I didn't feel right. I felt nauseous and dizzy and tired. I went to the school office to do my morning routine when one of my coworkers asked about how I was doing. When I explained my dizziness, he said, "Ah, it's just the malaria." and I panicked. Did my malaria come back? How would I get it checked since the last test took too long to get back to me.
This was how I felt the day I was diagnosed with malaria: just a bit off, a little dizzy, a little nauseous. Maybe I do have it again! I decided that I should keep my blood sugar up and hydrate myself, so I grabbed a big stick Popsicle from the freezer and continued on to my class (any excuse for ice cream - in fact I think that's why I'm a hypochondriac. Who can deny a sick person ice cream?!).
By the end of the day, I felt just fine. I worked late and came home as normal. I'm sure I was just dizzy from low blood sugar. It wouldn't be the first time. I just think it's funny that my hypochondria now has even more ammunition...I just better not tell my mother because she'll just make me think that I really could be sick. Trust me, I'm not. I slept just fine last night for over 8 hours and I ate a full breakfast today. I certainly couldn't have done that when I had malaria. Trust me, I'm fine.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Drugs make me sad.
Some strange things have been happening at my school this past week. You may know that this is red ribbon week - a week in which we focus on drug use prevention. I have a discussion with each of my class periods about drug use and I always seem to get some pretty interesting conversations.
I was pretty disturbed, but not surprised, at the large number of students who said, "When my dad gets drunk..." not "one time my dad got drunk..." but "when". For my geometry classes I discussed high school and college temptations. I told them that this was the time in their lives where they could choose who they would be. They should choose now the kind of person they want to be so that when they are in those situations, they have already made their decision. I told them that I decided to never get drunk. That meant that when people invited me to drink in college, I didn't have to think under pressure. I just knew that I would say no.
This was my speech I gave on Monday and apparently I should have given it on Friday. On Friday six students at my school, six beautiful girls, decided to take ecstasy while on campus. One of them was a sweet girl I had last year and the other is a really cool kid I have this year in geometry! I'm so mad! What could they possibly be thinking? I'm just so overwhelmed by the sin in the world. People make such stupid choices and they can have such long term repercussions. I hope that these students learn from this and decide to never do this again.
As an empath, this hurts. I told my kids that if I heard that they were doing any drugs, I would hunt them down and yell at them. Now that I really have this situation in front of me, I don't know how to respond. Drugs suck!
I was pretty disturbed, but not surprised, at the large number of students who said, "When my dad gets drunk..." not "one time my dad got drunk..." but "when". For my geometry classes I discussed high school and college temptations. I told them that this was the time in their lives where they could choose who they would be. They should choose now the kind of person they want to be so that when they are in those situations, they have already made their decision. I told them that I decided to never get drunk. That meant that when people invited me to drink in college, I didn't have to think under pressure. I just knew that I would say no.
This was my speech I gave on Monday and apparently I should have given it on Friday. On Friday six students at my school, six beautiful girls, decided to take ecstasy while on campus. One of them was a sweet girl I had last year and the other is a really cool kid I have this year in geometry! I'm so mad! What could they possibly be thinking? I'm just so overwhelmed by the sin in the world. People make such stupid choices and they can have such long term repercussions. I hope that these students learn from this and decide to never do this again.
As an empath, this hurts. I told my kids that if I heard that they were doing any drugs, I would hunt them down and yell at them. Now that I really have this situation in front of me, I don't know how to respond. Drugs suck!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Determining your levels of fatigue
I am tired. This is a common thing for me. I do too much and I don't sleep. Plus, I haven't been exercising, which just exacerbates the problem. Since I always seem to complain of being tired (my Grandpa Dempsey used to ask if I was bitten by a TsiTsi fly when I was in high school) I thought it would be helpful to create a set of sleepiness levels.
Level 1: tired
This is when you've had a long day and you put your feet up after a long day of work and think, "Man, I had a long day." You don't feel so very tired, but just a little after a long day of work
Level 2: nappy
Your eyes won't stay open and you just want to close them. If you need to get up and do something you can, but you might not want to.
Level 3: slow
It seems that everything goes just a bit slower; waking up, getting ready, starting your day, even speaking. It all is a little slower than normal
Level 4: eyes hurting, light burning, no waking...
The alarm is evil, your eyes won't open and you think that maybe you can get ready in 30 minutes instead of an hour. Suddenly, doing hair and make-up seem insignificant.
Level 5: counting down to sitting down
You prep yourself with, "If I just get through the next hour, I can sit down and rest for five minutes." You go through this for the whole day. The drive home takes too long and you can't wait to not do anything but sit and rest.
Level 6: Emotional and physical breakdown
Words don't form complete sentences and sense making is not what you are doing. This making you sad and worried and emotional and stuff...much difficult when your job is speak and teach. So tired...no words...want sleep...
I really reached level 6 on Wednesday. I even cancelled my two/three normal Wednesday activities after school. I did have to drive to Target to buy cards, cheese, crackers, and soda for a work party the next day. I was really mad that I had to go when I felt so tired. I nearly got into a car accident and I grumbled the whole time. I did buy myself a People magazine (for the first time in 8 years or so) about High School Musical 3. That made me a little happier. I also started doing yoga again and I think that the stretching is helping me sleep better and then maybe I'll only be at a level 2. Here's hoping...
Level 1: tired
This is when you've had a long day and you put your feet up after a long day of work and think, "Man, I had a long day." You don't feel so very tired, but just a little after a long day of work
Level 2: nappy
Your eyes won't stay open and you just want to close them. If you need to get up and do something you can, but you might not want to.
Level 3: slow
It seems that everything goes just a bit slower; waking up, getting ready, starting your day, even speaking. It all is a little slower than normal
Level 4: eyes hurting, light burning, no waking...
The alarm is evil, your eyes won't open and you think that maybe you can get ready in 30 minutes instead of an hour. Suddenly, doing hair and make-up seem insignificant.
Level 5: counting down to sitting down
You prep yourself with, "If I just get through the next hour, I can sit down and rest for five minutes." You go through this for the whole day. The drive home takes too long and you can't wait to not do anything but sit and rest.
Level 6: Emotional and physical breakdown
Words don't form complete sentences and sense making is not what you are doing. This making you sad and worried and emotional and stuff...much difficult when your job is speak and teach. So tired...no words...want sleep...
I really reached level 6 on Wednesday. I even cancelled my two/three normal Wednesday activities after school. I did have to drive to Target to buy cards, cheese, crackers, and soda for a work party the next day. I was really mad that I had to go when I felt so tired. I nearly got into a car accident and I grumbled the whole time. I did buy myself a People magazine (for the first time in 8 years or so) about High School Musical 3. That made me a little happier. I also started doing yoga again and I think that the stretching is helping me sleep better and then maybe I'll only be at a level 2. Here's hoping...
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Reasons why I love my job.
I love my job. I know that doesn't surprise some of you. In fact, I heard someone say, "You'd love your job no matter what it was." That's possibly true. But there's a difference between looking for the joy in your job and having your job throw joy at you daily. That's how my job is. I love it and there are few jobs that I could love better. Here are some reasons why:
1) I am greeted every day with smiling faces, hello's and general well wishes by dozens of kids.
2) I get to speak all day. To a captive audience.
3) I get to create systems and then implement them.
4) My students think I'm funny and they politely laugh at my stupid jokes.
5) I get to read teen fiction and watch the Disney channel and claim that I'm doing it to keep in touch with what my kids are into.
6) There are students who offer to help me every day. They clean over-heads, wipe the board, will carry things, and even will purchase my ice cream for me on Tuesdays (if I give them the cash).
7) I get to help kids feel better about themselves in so many ways.
8) I can makes kids see how they're smart.
9) I get to dress up for Halloween.
10) Everyday is a challenge that I can usually overcome. So I feel both challenged and successful almost every day.
11) I get to wear cute work clothes.
12) I have a giant office with two big windows. I do share it with 180, sometimes lacking in deoderant, pre-teens, but it certainly is spacious.
13) I don't sit at a computer all day.
14) There is very little down time so my day goes by really fast.
15) Everyday I feel like I've done a little bit to make the world a little bit better.
16) I get major holidays and two months off in the summer.
17) I get to expose my kids to new music, books, and cultures every day.
I wish that everyone could have a job that they loved as much as I love mine. May your job throw joy at you this week.
1) I am greeted every day with smiling faces, hello's and general well wishes by dozens of kids.
2) I get to speak all day. To a captive audience.
3) I get to create systems and then implement them.
4) My students think I'm funny and they politely laugh at my stupid jokes.
5) I get to read teen fiction and watch the Disney channel and claim that I'm doing it to keep in touch with what my kids are into.
6) There are students who offer to help me every day. They clean over-heads, wipe the board, will carry things, and even will purchase my ice cream for me on Tuesdays (if I give them the cash).
7) I get to help kids feel better about themselves in so many ways.
8) I can makes kids see how they're smart.
9) I get to dress up for Halloween.
10) Everyday is a challenge that I can usually overcome. So I feel both challenged and successful almost every day.
11) I get to wear cute work clothes.
12) I have a giant office with two big windows. I do share it with 180, sometimes lacking in deoderant, pre-teens, but it certainly is spacious.
13) I don't sit at a computer all day.
14) There is very little down time so my day goes by really fast.
15) Everyday I feel like I've done a little bit to make the world a little bit better.
16) I get major holidays and two months off in the summer.
17) I get to expose my kids to new music, books, and cultures every day.
I wish that everyone could have a job that they loved as much as I love mine. May your job throw joy at you this week.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Jeopardy! was funny tonight!
Yeah, you read that right. Jeopardy! was funny. There's a new champion who has now won three times. His name is Erik and he plays like he is not only bored, but intensly annoyed at Alex for forcing him to choose another category. He would give his answers with a complete blase response, "What is gestation?" like he was stifling a yawn. The other contestants tried to hide how intimidated they were, but they were definitely nervous.
Alex only said one demeaning thing the whole night which was when the other guy (loser #1) responded to the clue with, "What are Muslims?" when the correct response (which Erik gave) was "Who is Muhammad?" Alex said, "HE" in an attempt to shaming the guy into understanding the proper pronouns leading to the correct answer. What a jerk he can be sometimes.
One guy did a true daily double (we always chant, "Be a man!" when people get a daily double), but didn't say, "I'd like to make it a true daily double, Alex," as we all dream of saying one day. He instead just wagered his entire numeric amount. Maybe Alex was right to chastise the man earlier.
The funniest moment was when a clue was talking about how the Lord of the Rings extended version wasn't boring despite its 4 and half hour length. Julie and I simultaneously responded, "So true!"
Julie did raise an important, provoking question. What would your Jeopardy! fact about yourself be? You know how they always talk to the contestants after the first commercial break and say something about their lives and you feel the uncomfortable lack of laughter as Alex tries to be funny and condecending. Well, what would your fact be? Mine would probably be that I had malaria. It's always a safe bet to just list something obscure about yourself that has a short story attached. You don't have to try to be funny and people know how to respond to that. This is in direct opposition to tonight's winner of the awkward award:
Alex: Talk about false labor. What happened when your mother was pregnant with you?
Girl loser: She thought she had a tapeworm for 4 months.
Alex: Why did she think she had a tapeworm?
Girl loser: I don't know...
(awkward silence)
Seriously, that's the most interesting thing about you? I guess that would be funny in some contexts, but on national television? Strangly it bears a striking resemblance to mine (I actually had a parasite and was not pregnant) but can you recognize the subtile differences that make mine a better choice? What would yours be?
Alex only said one demeaning thing the whole night which was when the other guy (loser #1) responded to the clue with, "What are Muslims?" when the correct response (which Erik gave) was "Who is Muhammad?" Alex said, "HE" in an attempt to shaming the guy into understanding the proper pronouns leading to the correct answer. What a jerk he can be sometimes.
One guy did a true daily double (we always chant, "Be a man!" when people get a daily double), but didn't say, "I'd like to make it a true daily double, Alex," as we all dream of saying one day. He instead just wagered his entire numeric amount. Maybe Alex was right to chastise the man earlier.
The funniest moment was when a clue was talking about how the Lord of the Rings extended version wasn't boring despite its 4 and half hour length. Julie and I simultaneously responded, "So true!"
Julie did raise an important, provoking question. What would your Jeopardy! fact about yourself be? You know how they always talk to the contestants after the first commercial break and say something about their lives and you feel the uncomfortable lack of laughter as Alex tries to be funny and condecending. Well, what would your fact be? Mine would probably be that I had malaria. It's always a safe bet to just list something obscure about yourself that has a short story attached. You don't have to try to be funny and people know how to respond to that. This is in direct opposition to tonight's winner of the awkward award:
Alex: Talk about false labor. What happened when your mother was pregnant with you?
Girl loser: She thought she had a tapeworm for 4 months.
Alex: Why did she think she had a tapeworm?
Girl loser: I don't know...
(awkward silence)
Seriously, that's the most interesting thing about you? I guess that would be funny in some contexts, but on national television? Strangly it bears a striking resemblance to mine (I actually had a parasite and was not pregnant) but can you recognize the subtile differences that make mine a better choice? What would yours be?
Sunday, October 5, 2008
my hit counter
Man, I wish I was more computer saavy than I am. I took AP computer programming and I have a million programmers in my family, but I can't seem to be able to insert a simple free html code for a hit counter on my blogspot page. So instead I will insert it in this blog and hope that it works. What's funny is the most of the hits are just me checking to see if the hit counter works. What's funnier is that I only inserted a hit counter because my cousins have them on their blogs and I want to be as cool as they are...except they can write the code themselves...in several programming languages...in 3D if they wanted...in five minutes...I'll never be as cool
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