I often hear the admonition to "take some time for yourself" or "you can't please everyone" or "maybe you should reduce some of the stress in your life." I hear these admonitions, but I don't usually listen. I fill my life with all sorts of activities and obligations. Someone once asked me if my work was my life and I answered, "Yes, but so is my family and my church. I try to squeeze three lives into one." Is this wearing? Is this something that brings my stress levels up and my sleep time down? Yes.
So this spring break, I decided to heed those warnings and take some time for me. I went on a women's retreat to start it off and had a wonderful time. While there, I tried hard not to think of what I should be doing to maximize my effective use of time. I tried not to squeeze in as much conversation time with each person I knew and while talking with her thinking, "I need to also talk with those thirty other people." Instead I just talked with whomever was near. I talked as long as I wanted and listened wholeheartedly.
After I got back, I hid away at the beach house. I brought a little food, some clothes, and some books and I just sat outside and read. For three days. It was wonderful. I even spent one whole day where I didn't think, "what should I be doing now instead of this?" I ignored my potential responsibilities and just existed. It was glorious. Nine hours of sleep each night, food all day and two books completed.
Now that I'm back in the real world, the dam is no longer able to hold back the waters of responsibility and I feel that I've stayed away too long. Tomorrow I have choir, church, missions report, time to spend with my family (especially Paul and Erin), hundreds of papers to grade, and laundry to do. This week at school I have "Annie" rehearsals, lesson plans to refine, sub plans to write, grades to enter, seating charts, and meetings. After school I have Bible studies, dr. appointments, and friends to see.
I don't want to complain (too late, I suppose) because I love my life. I love to do all of the things I do. I love my family, and I love my friends. I love to devote myself to these things. As my friend, Aleta, said: I like to keep my cup full, to the brim and just above so that I cannot take one more drop.
It was nice to have a couple days of just me time, but now I feel like I've not spent my week off as well as I could. I certainly procrastinated on the important stuff enough. Let the busy days begin.
