So I decided to go to my favorite clinic to get my malaria test done. This is just a precaution to see if the malaria is just lying dormant in my system or if it is really gone. I went to the Dr's almost two weeks ago and spoke with my doctor. She was so disappointed to hear that I got malaria. She almost seemed to take personal responsibility. I told her that everyone got it despite their malaria meds they were taking. She still wasn't happy.
She had to send me to a different lab that does phlebotomy (takes blood) and cool tests like malaria smears. She asked me to start on the quinine until we heard. Now I'm usually the first person to do everything the doctor tells me to do. I go to every appointment and take every pill that is prescribed. I like to be a good patient. Quinine makes people very sick. It is almost like the chemo of malaria. It does a good job killing the parasite, but it makes the patient feel worse than the sickness itself. I made a face and said, "Really?" "Please do, as much as you can," she replied. I am not one to disobey a doctor, but I can't teach while vomiting - trust me, I've tried.
The lab took a while for me to get to since my schedule and their walk-in schedule never seemed to align. But on Thursday the 4th, I got my blood taken. She said that the results would take 2-3 days and my doctor said she would call as soon as she heard anything. The great news was that they were testing my liver as well as my red blood cells just to see if any little bugs were hiding and camping out.
So I waited...and waited...and then panicked. I felt sure that I had malaria again. I was feeling the same symptoms of fatigue, listlessness, and small aches in weird places. I realized that I was beginning teaching again and Julie got a Wii. I was tired and ached, but there were rational explanations. So I waited some more. Finally I called and asked several people about my results. They finally called and said they had been mailed to me on Monday and I should just be patient.
So I waited and checked the mail like a fanatic. I even spent 5 minutes staring at the postman while he tried to do his job and ignore the crazy woman standing next to her open mailbox waiting for it to be full. I tried to start small talk, but I don't think he got into this job to talk to crazy people...wait maybe he is crazy too...anyway. Side note: I was totally drooling over the organizing this guy gets to do everyday. I almost asked if I could help sort the mailers, but he didn't need any more ammunition against me - poor choice of words.
So I called again, every day and left messages asking them to call me back and to leave any results on my answering machine. They wouldn't. I finally got someone from medical records to look up my lab results. She was holding them in her hand (and assured me that they had been mailed on Wednesday). I asked if she could just read them over the phone. She put me on hold. When she returned she said, "I'm only allowed to read you the last line of the last page. 'All test results are within normal limits.' Does that make you happy?" She asked very sweetly. I think she realized the idiocy of the legal hoops she had to jump through and was trying to be as helpful as possible. "Yes, thanks," I replied. That was sort of true.
Normal levels of malaria is no malaria - right? What about my liver? I still wasn't satisfied and I'm pretty sure that the mailman was avoiding me so I thought I'd call again. I left a message saying, "I'd like to speak with my doctor about my malaria results," so that it seemed like I wasn't calling about the same thing. My doctor was out of town, so her sub called and left a message saying to call him back. I did and left him a message saying, "I would like to know the exact results from my malaria smear and liver test. Please leave me a message if I am unable to answer the phone."
The next day I received a message saying the my malaria smear was negative and my liver test was clear! Finally!! I still haven't received the supposed paper that was mailed to me, but I'm sure that they didn't get me mixed up with the other malaria patient they have (because I'm sure they don't have one). So now I'm healthy and I will remain that way until flu season.
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