Ahhh!!! That's ok, I'm alright.

I'm a well traveled individual. I've planned trips around the world for myself and others. Yet I just made one of the scariest travel choices of my life. I bought my ticket to Entebbe today.

I was given the names of two travel agents and I found some more online who specialize in missionary travel. One said that he couldn't work with groups smaller than 10 ( 1< 10 so I figured that wouldn't work for me). I then got a quote of $2,600 from someone online. I thought that I was supposed to get a better discount than that so I finally found the number of the last person who was recommended to me. Her two options were $3,800 that would get me there on the wrong day or $2,400 that would get me there on the wrong day and cause me to have an overnight layover in Dubai.

Dubai is a beautiful city that is overflowing with wealth right now. It's the Las Vegas of the middle east. They just built an island in the shape of a palm tree. Yes, they built an entire island. There's also a really cool building that looks like a stack of post-its that was twisted into a spiral. It's supposed to have the world's best shopping and amazing hotels. Mine would cost $136 a night in a safe area, according to my travel agent. But you know what, I'm not going to spend the night in a hotel in a strange country where women don't have equal rights to men - all by myself. If I'm going to be a part of a harem, it will be on the Bachelor, thank you very much.

So I decided against the overnight stay in Dubai - much to my father's relief. I thought I would try this on my own. It seemed that the travel agents weren't getting me the amazing deals I thought, so why not try my hand at travelocity? I did and I found pretty good flights. My grand total (after taxes etc.) is $2806. It's more than one of the travel agents, but it includes traveler's insurance and I don't have a middle man (or a layover in anywhere scarier than Detroit).

I prayed out loud before I decided, "God help me make the right choice," and I chose my own way. As soon as it was processing my credit card (who knew I had such a high limit? I had never let myself check my limit before.) I panicked. What if I made the wrong choice? What if these dates don't work for the missionaries? What if the travel agents get mad? (Seriously, I've talked to one of the travel agents for a combined total of 1 minute and I'm sure that she will like me less for not using her and that bothers me. How sick am I? People pleaser...) Then the travelocity site dinged and said that I was confirmed.

CONFIRMED!! I've got a plane ticket to UGANDA!! I almost threw up. I called my dad and I still felt queasy. I called my roommate and left her a pathetic message about panicking and then I went on my way.

I got through the rest of my evening feeling a little better, but still a little off. You know when something big happens and the rest of the world isn't affected by it and you can't believe that they're acting normally while this big thing is happening? That's how I felt. The little voice in my head (at least the happy one I like to listen to the most) kept saying You have a ticket to Uganda! The evil voice that I was trying to ignore kept saying What if you are alone in the Entebbe airport overnight? What if people try to rob you in the airport while you wait? How will you find the people picking you up? What if you picked the wrong day and they won't actually be at the airport? How will you call your parents once you arrive? Are you going to be so tired you'll get sick? Do you really want to go?

The panic strikes again and I try to calm myself. But you know, the truth is, I know that God wants me to go and the fear is a good thing. If I'm scared to go and I go anyway, it's just going to build my trust in God. If I'm not scared, I'll forget that I need Him.

So I'm going a little crazy. I'm excited and scared and freaking out a bit, but I'm not so crazy that I can't enjoy this preparation. So now I can officially say that I'm going to Uganda this summer - or at least I have my ticket.