Frankly, I think my roommate, Julie, and I are hilarious. We make each other laugh all the time because, well, we're super funny. Here is a sample of things that Julie and/or I have said that have made us laugh.
1. Tonight when Julie was going to bed.
Julie: Goodnight.
Brenda (distracted while typing): Goodbye.
Julie laughing. Brenda realizing her faux-pas: Or goodnight.
Julie: I'll see you on the other side of that journey we call sleep.
2. We bought festive flowers for Memorial day. They have glitter blue sticks in them that look like fireworks. We sing a new patriotic song in honor of these flowers (and our military heroes) every morning. In harmony. With percussive accompaniment. So loud that our neighbors can hear.
3. We play Jeopardy! while it's on. We mock the contestants for their lack of social/fashion sense. We then discuss how we would be much better dressed contestants and how great Julie's hair would be. We also often make nerd jokes about clues and categories. We mock Alex's mocking voice. We are just super funny. Trust me. You'd have to be there, but you'd laugh if you were.
4. Whenever we watch cheesy and predictable movies (or change that to 'when we watch tv') we always ask questions about the obvious plot direction and then answer them. For example, while watching some romance movie where the characters are obviously going to end up together, but are going through some contrived conflict, one of us will ask, "Oh, no! Will they ever get together?" and the other will respond, "I don't know. It seems like this conflict will keep them apart forever!"
5. When watching Pride and Prejudice we make the same comments we've made for the past 8 years of watching P and P. We clap four times during the dance in which they pause to clap. When Elizabeth says, "I can safely promise you never to dance with Mr. Darcy." one of us will say, "Oh, yes you will." When Darcy is done writing the letter and there is a strange sound in the background that supposed to be a rooster crowing, I say, "Why is there a dying woman screaming?" and Julie says, "It's a rooster." When Darcy is taking a bath we say, "Nude scene!" After the proposal at the end (sorry for the spoiler), they both turn to walk and Julie says, "And they just keep walking." The best part is that we say these same phrases as if they had just occurred to us. It's like some bizarre self-imposed ground hog day.
6. Instead of saying 'thank you', Julie says, "Donkey" is a mocking salute to her mother's inability to pronounce German. I reply with a "Bitter" and we laugh and laugh.
7. We often times will speak with strange accents that always turn into British or Russian.
8. We try to guess who's calling and who the phone is for whenever it rings. I mean EVERY time.
9. We sing whatever song is in one person's head so as to get it into the head of the other.
10. We try to guess what the other wants to eat and we are usually right.
Julie when she came home from choir practice: Guess what I was thinking about the whole way home from choir practice?
Brenda on her way to the kitchen: How you wanted milkshakes for dessert.
Julie: You read my mind!
11. We make up stories about what our neighbors are really doing based on the strange sounds that emanate at all hours of the day. Our latest idea is that they have taken up tap dancing, but have some strange disorder with their balance so they fall a lot. They are also currently remodeling which requires them to move all of their furniture to the bathroom by dragging it across the floor. They also like to bowl - with their dogs. Their baby is really quiet though.
12. We make up names for the neighbors we don't know. Ugly dogwalking lady, tai-chi man, Frisbee guy, skater boys, Gilbert's baby, crazy pool lady. We are obviously very creative.
13. The other night we had this conversation:
Brenda from her room with her window open: Wow! It's really raining hard!
Julie from her room: really?
Brenda: Wait, is it 11:30?
Julie: It's 11:38, why?
Brenda: It's just the sprinklers. Sorry.
Laugh riot, right? No really, if you lived here you would lose weight simply by the excessive laughter burning calories. But you'd probably gain it all back from the plethora of snacks available - and the milkshakes. But you'd be happy.
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