Watching Love Grow

For those of you who know me, I love love. I also love the idea of being married. As a five year old, when asked what I wanted to be, I responded, "A wife and a mother." This was not because of some ingrained lesson my parents taught me about a woman's place or anything. I was given plenty of options for a future career and I did not feel limited as to what I could do. I think it was because my mom was (and is) my hero and greatest role model and she was a wife and mother - what better job could I find? In fact, this same woman asked me as I headed off to kindergarten, why I was excited to start school like my brothers before me. I answered, "I need to go to school to find a husband!"

    So fastforward nearly 30 years later. Thirty years of wishing and dreaming. Thirty years of filling my head with RomComs, Jane Austen, Shakespeare, poetry, and CCRNs (cheesy Christian romance novels). In that time I was careful not to be unrealistic about what marriage was. It wasn't going to be some endless hallmark movie. It wasn't going to be life filled with candlelit dinners and witty repartee (although that could be a part of it). It was going to be filled with normal things and difficult things and the messy parts of life too.

    Then I met Nathan. I loved Nathan more and more as we dated. Eventually it actually hurt for me to say goodbye to him when we were done with a date. He would drop me off at my place and I would cry for a bit and text him immediately and then ask him to call me when he got home and we would talk for another hour until I couldn't stay awake. Wow, that sounds kind of pathetic, but it's actually sweet, trust me. I just loved him so much, I couldn't bear to be away from him. As our wedding neared, I started counting down the goodbyes. "Only thirty more goodbyes and then no more forever."

    So, after all that anticipation, all that dreaming, all that planning and wishing, how do I feel? I feel like all of my dreams and hopes were not even close to how wonderful it would be to be married to the right man. Every day I feel like I love him more. Every day I think, "I'm really married! He's mine forever!" Every day I know that I don't have to say goodbye. Every day I praise God for this gift.
  
   Now school is starting and we will have less time to spend with each other and we'll be apart more and I'll start texting him again, but the best part is that we don't have to try to figure out when we'll see each other next or what place is open for us to hang out past 10 pm. I'll come home to Nathan and he'll come home to me. I feel overwhelmed by love. Who knew I could love him more? But I do, every day. Who knew marriage could be this awesome? Lot's of people, I'm sure, but I'm glad that I get to experience it. I know that there will be difficult times to come, but I also know that Nathan is my faithful friend, devoted husband and that that will never change.