Children Should Be Heard

  I am good with kids. I have known that since I started being old enough to say, "I'm good with kids." I've tried to figure out why it is that I can relate to kids and talk with them and have them talk and relate to me. Part of it is certainly because I love things that are kid-like. I enjoy bubbles, coloring with sidewalk chalk, dancing to anything, novels meant for kids, tv shows meant for kids, and just being silly. But I've decided the most important reason is that I listen.
   I've recently been observing other adults and their interactions with kids. Some adults can't hear kids as they continually shout out, begging for attention. Some talk over kids in the middle of a story and start talking to another adult because they don't think what the kid is saying is valid. Some respond with a simple "oh really" while they are doing something else. I've also seen some who look kids in the eye while they speak. Who pause in conversation to listen. Who ask questions and respond like they want to know the answer. Who actually have conversations with kids as if they are people and matter.
    See, that's the key. Listening to someone tells that person that you think he or she matters. What you have to say and what you think about things and what you have done is worth hearing. When do kids become valid human members of society? Some might say adulthood, some when they get a job, some when they can talk. I say that all of childhood is a time when you are valid. You matter no matter how old or intelligent or learned or intelligible you are. So when a 3 year old at church wants to tell me about her dress, how is that any less valid than me wanting to tell people about my dress. And when a twelve year old is telling me about a book she loves, I want to know (mostly because I'll probably love it too).
     So often kids feel like they are not heard, like they don't yet matter. But they do matter! They are a functional and integral part of our society and they deserve to be heard. And just think about what you teach a kid when you listen. You teach them that respect is given to everyone no matter who they are, what they look like, or their age. You teach them how to listen by being a listener. You teach them that words have power. You teach them that they are valuable and have a purpose. You teach them to think of themselves in a communal way - a way that can lead to seeing outside of themselves and looking to others.
    The next time you see a kid, I challenge you to ask them a question. Start with, "How's school?" if you are feeling uncreative. But you might move into, "reading anything interesting?" or "what shows are you watching?" or "would you ever want to live in another country?" or "do you think that aliens have art?" or "what makes you happy?" or "who's your best friend?" It may be awkward and you may have to carry a large part of the conversation, but it doesn't matter. What the kid will hear is, "I'm interested in knowing more about you." The key is, when they answer - listen!