A Perspective on Pity

I have a wonderfully shy student this year. I like shy students because I think shy people are cool and I like to befriend them and let them know that I think they are cool. Still waters run deep, as they say. So my wonderfully shy student has a very demanding father who wrote on her first test (on which she scored a B grade), "You can do better" and he wrote on her second test (on which she scored an A) "Next time don't miss any." This drew my pity for her. I thought that she must have a difficult time living with a father so hard to please.

She asked to stay after school for some help on some homework problems which was fine by me. We worked for about thirty minutes. At the end of it she said, "I wish I could stay with you." My heart thumped a little as I thought of this poor girl wanting to find solace away from unkindness. She continued, "We could do math problems together." I said, "Like a math slumber party? We'd eat popcorn, watch movies, and do math problems? We should have all the girls come to our math party." I smiled at her thinking of how sweet it was that my student admired me and wanted to have me as a friend.

She continued, "I sometimes see you leaving work and you look sad. I think you must be lonely."

What? Beyond the kind of stalker aspect of this (she's not creepy, she just stays late after school) I was thinking that I am almost always smiling, but I guess as I leave all I can think of is how tired I am. "I'm not sad, I'm just tired," I responded.

"So you go home to your parents?"

"No, I live very close to my parents, so I see them a lot."

"You go home to your brothers?"

"No, I live in my own house. And I get to live with my best friend from Jr. High!"

"Oh, so you don't live with your family."

I then could see the pity in her face. I guess she wanted to take pity on the lonely school marm who stays too late and leaves looking a little sad and a little lonely. I sure don't feel sad or lonely, maybe she doesn't feel shy or like her father is hard on her. I guess it's all in your perspective.