I eat like a two year old. I eat whatever I want whenever I want for as long as I want. I give very little consideration to how what I eat affects my body and how I feel afterward. I don't overeat, but I certainly don't eat well. There is one exception that I've always felt a sense of pride over. I don't drink caffeine because it messes with my heart. That is probably the only time in my life I have ever denied myself food. I don't even know if I have self control because I've never tried to have self control. I want another helping of ice cream, so I get it. I want a snickers for lunch - done. I'm addicted to sugar and cheese and I could probably be satisfied with both of those (and an occasional pizza) for the rest of my life.
My roommate, Julie, has been sleepy for 2 years. She's gone to doctors, taken vitamins, and exercises diligently (while I sit on the couch eating desserts). Nothing has helped. We've joked that it's actually radon poisoning or she's been bitten by a Tsi-Tsi fly that came back with me from Africa. Deep down, we've both suspected that it might have something to do with her food choices.
So one of my coworkers has been going to a nutritionist for a long time now. She loves this woman. Despite some of the interesting, less traditional methods, my coworker has seen amazing changes in her life because of this woman. So Julie and I decided to go.
The week of the appointment I was getting very nervous. I knew that she would tell me that I couldn't have sugar and probably that I couldn't have dairy. I was trying to picture something I eat that doesn't have either of those, and I came to one conclusion - I was going to starve.
Julie's appointment was first and she came home with a bag full of supplements and a list of food she couldn't eat for a while. I started to panic. I didn't realize how much I love my horrible eating practices until they were going to be taken from me. Years I have spent learning how to bake the best chocolate chip cookies I could. I have made dessert after dessert and I've gotten pretty good at them. I also love experimenting with foods. I make Italian dinners and fill them with the best kinds of cheeses I can find. I've put lots of time and effort into learning how to be a decent cook and now it was over.
My appointment was a mixture of trepidation on my part and extreme interest. A woman in the lobby complimented my ridiculously small purse and we started a conversation. Turns out, she's the doctor's sister and they haven't seen each other in a year. Well, I just love family reunions - so good so far.
Next was some test using pressure points on my hands and feet and some electric machine. I was looking at the screen and questioning the aptitude of the girl running it when I realized that she was on the wrong finger, twice. I pointed out this possibility and she sort of fixed it. I was not so sure...
Then I went into the next room and the doctor's sister asked if she could sit in on my appointment because she hadn't seen her sister work. I honestly had no problem with this, so I said sure. I went through a series of Western and Eastern tests. Most seemed logical and some seemed a little kooky, but the most interesting one was the muscle test.
I lay on the table with my right arm perpendicular to my body. She would push down on that arm and I would try to resist it. Not too bad so far. Then she pushed on different organs and pressure points while pushing on my arm. Sometimes I was able to resist and sometimes not. Apparently, my spleen is inflamed.
Then she put vials of extracts of different foods and would continue the process. Sometimes my arm went down and sometimes I could resist. This determined my food sensitivities which include: wheat, gluten, sugar, and pasteurized milk products. Basically no more ice cream and string cheese.
She did at one point ask me if I was a smoker or did dope. I was offended at the accusation because I am such the anti-drug person. I am like a red ribbon week freak. I tell strangers to stop smoking, for goodness sake. Then she told me she asked because my heart was beating so fast (and not from frustration at her asking the question). I told her that was normal for me. So she said she would take care of that too.
Then she put a collection of pills in bottles on my stomach. She did the arm test and started taken bottles and putting them back on depending on if my arm was able to resist or not. After that she put some pills in my hand to determine dosage. She would add or take away until my arm was able to resist. This led to me taking 38 "whole food supplements" a day! Not to mention the powdered whey that I'll be taking to help with protein and calcium intake.
So at the end of the day I was wondering a few things: 1) Is she a kook that I just paid a lot of money to for no real reason? 2) Will I really be able to stick with this drastic change? 3) Will it actually improve my quality of life enough to justify all of this work?
I went through one day of adjusted eating and the answers felt like: 1)maybe 2)not more than one day 3) probably not. Of course that was trying to eat without grocery shopping for new food. 10:00 was the hardest because all I wanted was to pig out on my midnight snack usuals: string cheese, granola bar, yoplait orange creme, ice cream...all of which are now verboten.
I'll keep you posted on how it goes.
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