I love books. I love to read them and share them and talk about them. I love to analyze them and hear what other people think of them. When I was given the opportunity to teach a before school literature class once a week for an academic competition coming up, I jumped at the chance. I think I am a pretty good teacher and I really love teaching these academic team classes because there's no homework and everyone wants to be there. It's just learning for the sake of learning and it's fun.
I read the book we were assigned to read, The Wanderer, and I really enjoyed it. Like all good literature, it was boring until it wasn't. There was a great twist eight chapters in and the ending made me cry. That's always a great sign. It has tons of symbolism that's really easy to see and the themes and tone are also easy to identify. I even asked an English teacher friend of mine for advice on how to teach the novel. In addition to the novel, we were given three poems to discuss. I really liked the poems and couldn't wait to share them with my kids.
I had visions of my kids sitting at my feet drinking in my literary wisdom and becoming deep thinkers themselves in the process. I could envision the lively conversations with kids shouting back and forth about their opinions, maybe even passionately debating a point or two.
This was my vision, and it's sorta coming true but not really. They are doing a great job and trying really hard, but I feel like I keep saying, "So what does that mean?" waiting for a few kids to respond and then saying, "Yeah, here's what I think." I realized that loving something and being good at teaching it are two different things. I love math. I am good at teaching it. So it seemed like the natural chain of events. But I came to realize that my love for math is not what makes me good at teaching it. It is the fact that math never came naturally to me that makes me good at teaching it. Math was always a harder subject for me than English or history. So to help myself learn it, I made up weird stories or tricks. Integers aren't integers, they are warriors facing a battle of good vs. evil. And as far as trig goes, Sine is a girl and Cosine is a boy. They are siblings who both depend on their father figure, Tangent (don't make me explain that one to you, it only really makes sense to me.) So I teach math in this unconventional way and that helps my students enjoy it and understand it.
I have trouble helping my kids see Literature in a more exciting way, because to me it is just by itself lovely and exciting. The beautiful flow of words in Byron's poem, "Solitude" just make me smile, while my kids get lost among the e'en's and 'tis' and 'twixt's. The good news is they are so smart and so willing to learn that as soon as the language is cleared up, they dive right in and analyze the poem for all it's worth. They didn't cry as they read the last few chapters of the book ("Is that Sophie, my Sophie?") but they certainly got a kick out of it when I cried as I read it to them. We knocked out some good vocab words (Kid 1:"What does 'smite the sounding furrows' mean again?" Kid 2: "Remember how God smote Ms. Dempsey's ipod touch because she was addicted to that cake game?" Kid 1:"Oh, yeah!") and they are better at identifying tone and simile.
I just know that any success they have in literature will have more to do with their skills, than with mine. But even though I am faced with a weekly challenge of how to teach critical literary thinking and I feel totally not prepared for the task, I would do it again in a heartbeat. I certainly have even more respect for all of you English teachers out there and if you have any good teaching tips, I'll take 'em.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
An Interesting Day in Paradise: POs and Henna Tattoos
Today was one of those days I both wished I had a film crew following me and was thankful that I did not. I feel like today was a perfect core sample of the full spectrum of things teachers deal with. I had brilliant and honest students come in at lunch to finish their tests, but they refused to get their own tests because they were nervous about seeing other student's answers and possibly cheating - not kidding.
So that group left and my fifth period entered with engines roaring and little desire to do anything but torment each other. Actually it was just three kids who were really excited about making the other one's mad. I was aware of the taunting, but unaware of the actual words being tossed around. I corrected it with a little prompting and not much more than that, but I could feel the tension in one of my kids. I could see the daggers in his eyes as he stared back at the student behind him who had gone too far. After class, the drama broke out into full blown threats and tears and kids running to and from me. I still didn't get the whole story, but I had to call the office to make sure a fight didn't break out.
It turns out that one of the kids started telling heinous 'your mama' jokes to the kid he hates the most (after the fat jokes weren't getting enough of a reaction). Well, the other student's mom is going through some really difficult stuff right now and it's probably the most sensitive issue this kid has in his life, so the comments caused this tough kid to cry. His friend wanted to retaliate, but my strong little man didn't let him and he was so courteous to me when all he wanted to do was punch this kid for his rudeness. There will be consequences tomorrow and I guess I have some seating charts to change...
Sixth period was ok. I did, in my frustration from fifth, tell them, "If you don't want to be here, that's fine. Just go outside and don't bother those of us who want to learn..." Not the most gracious of responses to the two kids who were messing around all period, but they packed up their stuff and chose to spend the period outside. I hope they were disappointed when they heard the class laughing and having a good time without them - because, yes, I am that petty.
After school was a mad house. I had kids asking for help, finishing tests, correcting homework, and needing to know how they could raise their grades. One of the other math teachers was out today, so her students came to my room for clarification of the lesson. Another student was patiently waiting to give me a gift from Pakistan - a henna tattoo. So after I ran math class triage and got everyone to a point where they could work independently, I sat down for my tattoo.
My student is a fabulous artist and I now have a very pretty tattoo on my palm and wrist. Other girls were in awe of this art form they had never seen before. So this student used the extra henna to do their palms too. I felt a little silly when a dad came to pick up his daughter. I tried to hide my arm as I explained to him what work she still needed to do at home.
After my office hour, two students from three years ago stopped by to tell me about their lives. They didn't make grades to do sports, one had been arrested once for stealing headphones regularly from Target and selling them for profit to his classmates. He only had to pay a fine and he served no time. I suppose I can at least be grateful that his entrepreneurial attitude was partly inspired by the classroom economy we had in my class. The other student was arrested twice: once for vandalism and the other time for accessory to a theft. The arrests were a week apart.
I am sometimes shocked at the ease with which I can now say the words, "So, is your PO a good guy? Does he get on your case about school?" I lectured them about not wasting their lives and never being so stupid again. We reminisced about how their lying and stealing had manifested itself in my class and how they had been caught. These were my parting words as they left to serve some community service time, "Don't get arrested again! No more! I don't want to hear any more about you guys doing something so stupid. Oh, and say hi to Alex."
*Sigh*, sometimes I wish I could just hide under the covers and pretend that the world isn't broken... I suppose I can just look at my tattoo or grade my tests taken with integrity and realize that there is hope for some of my kids and if there is not hope there is at least a large amount of chocolate.
So that group left and my fifth period entered with engines roaring and little desire to do anything but torment each other. Actually it was just three kids who were really excited about making the other one's mad. I was aware of the taunting, but unaware of the actual words being tossed around. I corrected it with a little prompting and not much more than that, but I could feel the tension in one of my kids. I could see the daggers in his eyes as he stared back at the student behind him who had gone too far. After class, the drama broke out into full blown threats and tears and kids running to and from me. I still didn't get the whole story, but I had to call the office to make sure a fight didn't break out.
It turns out that one of the kids started telling heinous 'your mama' jokes to the kid he hates the most (after the fat jokes weren't getting enough of a reaction). Well, the other student's mom is going through some really difficult stuff right now and it's probably the most sensitive issue this kid has in his life, so the comments caused this tough kid to cry. His friend wanted to retaliate, but my strong little man didn't let him and he was so courteous to me when all he wanted to do was punch this kid for his rudeness. There will be consequences tomorrow and I guess I have some seating charts to change...
Sixth period was ok. I did, in my frustration from fifth, tell them, "If you don't want to be here, that's fine. Just go outside and don't bother those of us who want to learn..." Not the most gracious of responses to the two kids who were messing around all period, but they packed up their stuff and chose to spend the period outside. I hope they were disappointed when they heard the class laughing and having a good time without them - because, yes, I am that petty.
After school was a mad house. I had kids asking for help, finishing tests, correcting homework, and needing to know how they could raise their grades. One of the other math teachers was out today, so her students came to my room for clarification of the lesson. Another student was patiently waiting to give me a gift from Pakistan - a henna tattoo. So after I ran math class triage and got everyone to a point where they could work independently, I sat down for my tattoo.
My student is a fabulous artist and I now have a very pretty tattoo on my palm and wrist. Other girls were in awe of this art form they had never seen before. So this student used the extra henna to do their palms too. I felt a little silly when a dad came to pick up his daughter. I tried to hide my arm as I explained to him what work she still needed to do at home.
After my office hour, two students from three years ago stopped by to tell me about their lives. They didn't make grades to do sports, one had been arrested once for stealing headphones regularly from Target and selling them for profit to his classmates. He only had to pay a fine and he served no time. I suppose I can at least be grateful that his entrepreneurial attitude was partly inspired by the classroom economy we had in my class. The other student was arrested twice: once for vandalism and the other time for accessory to a theft. The arrests were a week apart.
I am sometimes shocked at the ease with which I can now say the words, "So, is your PO a good guy? Does he get on your case about school?" I lectured them about not wasting their lives and never being so stupid again. We reminisced about how their lying and stealing had manifested itself in my class and how they had been caught. These were my parting words as they left to serve some community service time, "Don't get arrested again! No more! I don't want to hear any more about you guys doing something so stupid. Oh, and say hi to Alex."
*Sigh*, sometimes I wish I could just hide under the covers and pretend that the world isn't broken... I suppose I can just look at my tattoo or grade my tests taken with integrity and realize that there is hope for some of my kids and if there is not hope there is at least a large amount of chocolate.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
My Christmas Top Ten
I love top ten lists and Christmas so here is my list of my top favorite Christmas traditions. It's hard to narrow the list down, but here's my best attempt:
10) Clothes: Yes, that's right, clothes. I love dressing up and I love winter clothes. I love coats and scarves and gloves and turtlenecks and fuzzy socks and different shades of red and green. I love getting Christmas dresses and making my poor nieces wear the dresses I wish I could wear. I love feeling snuggley all day long. I'm thankful that the weather is cold enough right now to merit my wearing winter weather clothes.
9) Decorations: It begins right at Thanksgiving break. I decorate my classroom with twinkle lights, ribbons and garland. Then I go to my mom's house and we decorate her tree (I refuse to let her do this without me). We talk about the history of all of her ornaments and where they all came from. We stare at the tree from afar with lights on and off and then move one ornament 2 inches to the right or decide to switch a red one with a white one to get a good balance. We then make Dad come and give his opinion which is always, "Beautiful!" Mom has to occasionally corral me in as I dance away to listen to music or get something to drink and get distracted. It's a great time.
Then I get to my tree with my roommate which takes us at most ten minutes to select and then a little longer to decorate. It's an eclectic tree filled with ornaments that were mostly gifts from other people. We get a wreath and put up our lights which are on a remote. We then joke about who must bear the difficult burden of turning the lights off at night (a task that requires the pressing of one button).
8) Movies: I love Christmas movies! The Cheesier the better. I've written many blogs about this subject so I don't think I need to expand much on this except that I love Elf, BFC, and White Christmas probably the best.
7)eggnog/ cocomotion: I love eggnog. The end. I love cocomotion. Cocomotion was a gag gift my mom gave me several years ago that has become a beloved appliance. Everyone was getting coffee machines and I don't drink coffee so mom got me a hot coco machine instead. It both stirs and heats the hot chocolate to a perfect temperature. Not too hot and not too cold. It is a miracle machine that makes chocolatey goodness and I hope it lasts another ten years.
6) gifts: Yes, I have a million people I buy presents for and yes, I'm sure I could spend that money on better things, but there is a special thrill when you find the perfect gift for someone and you can't wait to give it to him or her. On Christmas day there are so many presents at my Aunt and Uncle's house that we feel a sense of gluttony, but it doesn't stop us from all buying for each other.
5)music: I love listening to my favorite Christmas albums (which I've also blogged about). There are just some songs that whisk you back to your childhood or make you suddenly feel like Christmas is really here. I love listening to the KOST. My brother Paul and I leave each other fake KOSTmas wishes on our phones. We'll call each other up and leave cheesey messages and dedications for the Christmas season. It's one of the few times we hope the other doesn't answer the phone so we can leave a long and sappy message and dedicate real or fake songs to each other.
4) singing: I know this seems like a repeat of the previous one, but I consider this one different because this is not just listening to music, but singing it out. I love to carol with people (I've gone three times this year) and I especially love singing special music stuff at church: choir songs, songs with the kids, tight harmonies with my mom and aunt, or the one note chorus on Christmas night. The one note chorus was started by my roommate and her sister and was quickly stolen by my family. We sit in a circle and start to sing a Christmas song, but each person only sings one note at a time. So I would sing the first note and then the person next to me would sing the next note and so on and so on. I love singing "Angels We Have Heard on High" this way because the Gloria is super silly.
3) play at church: The Christmas play is a big part of my season. In fact, I think about next year's play before this year's is even done. I love how great our kids are, how much they memorize, how skilled they are as actors, how willing they are to do what I ask of them, and how sweetly they sing of the gospel of Christmas. And if all else fails there is always the magic that happens when the youngest ones sing Away in a Manger. It's a fun night and a great reminder of why we celebrate - Christ's birth means that we are saved from our sins, at peace with God, and adopted into His family forever!
2) candle light service - On Christmas Eve we have a candle light service. I love the music and the atmosphere and being with my church family on this special holiday. But the ultimate best part is at the end. All of the lights go out, we all light candles and stand around the edge of the church in a circle and sing "Silent Night". It's so beautiful and so wonderful - that's when Christmas feels most real.
1) Christmas day with the family - like a giant slumber party with the people you love the most in the world. I guess that's exactly what it is. My family all crowds into the beach house with our presents, people, snoring, suitcases, and food. We stay up too late, get up too early, eat food all day and unwrap presents for hours. Some people come later because they have other families to go to. Some leave during the middle of the day to celebrate at other homes, but everyone comes back at night for dinner and stockings. Grandma gives us her own stockings that she prepares during the whole year. She buys so many things that go with each person. From mugs to hair ties, from lip gloss to books, her stocking stuffers are what some people would consider full blown presents. And she does this for anyone who happens to be there that night. If you are celebrating Christmas night with us, you will have a stocking. She's amazing.
I love Christmas because it is beautiful, it is sentimental, and it is filled with food and family. I think that the ultimate thing about Christmas is that it allows us all the opportunity to reflect on the real meaning of Christmas. This is not some ethereal unknown feeling of joy or wonder. The real meaning of Christmas is that God in His mercy came to earth in the most humble of forms, and revealed himself to the most humble of people. God did this to save a broken people from their sins and collect them as his own children. The miracle of Jesus and how we get to celebrate that openly is why I love this season so much.
10) Clothes: Yes, that's right, clothes. I love dressing up and I love winter clothes. I love coats and scarves and gloves and turtlenecks and fuzzy socks and different shades of red and green. I love getting Christmas dresses and making my poor nieces wear the dresses I wish I could wear. I love feeling snuggley all day long. I'm thankful that the weather is cold enough right now to merit my wearing winter weather clothes.
9) Decorations: It begins right at Thanksgiving break. I decorate my classroom with twinkle lights, ribbons and garland. Then I go to my mom's house and we decorate her tree (I refuse to let her do this without me). We talk about the history of all of her ornaments and where they all came from. We stare at the tree from afar with lights on and off and then move one ornament 2 inches to the right or decide to switch a red one with a white one to get a good balance. We then make Dad come and give his opinion which is always, "Beautiful!" Mom has to occasionally corral me in as I dance away to listen to music or get something to drink and get distracted. It's a great time.
Then I get to my tree with my roommate which takes us at most ten minutes to select and then a little longer to decorate. It's an eclectic tree filled with ornaments that were mostly gifts from other people. We get a wreath and put up our lights which are on a remote. We then joke about who must bear the difficult burden of turning the lights off at night (a task that requires the pressing of one button).
8) Movies: I love Christmas movies! The Cheesier the better. I've written many blogs about this subject so I don't think I need to expand much on this except that I love Elf, BFC, and White Christmas probably the best.
7)eggnog/ cocomotion: I love eggnog. The end. I love cocomotion. Cocomotion was a gag gift my mom gave me several years ago that has become a beloved appliance. Everyone was getting coffee machines and I don't drink coffee so mom got me a hot coco machine instead. It both stirs and heats the hot chocolate to a perfect temperature. Not too hot and not too cold. It is a miracle machine that makes chocolatey goodness and I hope it lasts another ten years.
6) gifts: Yes, I have a million people I buy presents for and yes, I'm sure I could spend that money on better things, but there is a special thrill when you find the perfect gift for someone and you can't wait to give it to him or her. On Christmas day there are so many presents at my Aunt and Uncle's house that we feel a sense of gluttony, but it doesn't stop us from all buying for each other.
5)music: I love listening to my favorite Christmas albums (which I've also blogged about). There are just some songs that whisk you back to your childhood or make you suddenly feel like Christmas is really here. I love listening to the KOST. My brother Paul and I leave each other fake KOSTmas wishes on our phones. We'll call each other up and leave cheesey messages and dedications for the Christmas season. It's one of the few times we hope the other doesn't answer the phone so we can leave a long and sappy message and dedicate real or fake songs to each other.
4) singing: I know this seems like a repeat of the previous one, but I consider this one different because this is not just listening to music, but singing it out. I love to carol with people (I've gone three times this year) and I especially love singing special music stuff at church: choir songs, songs with the kids, tight harmonies with my mom and aunt, or the one note chorus on Christmas night. The one note chorus was started by my roommate and her sister and was quickly stolen by my family. We sit in a circle and start to sing a Christmas song, but each person only sings one note at a time. So I would sing the first note and then the person next to me would sing the next note and so on and so on. I love singing "Angels We Have Heard on High" this way because the Gloria is super silly.
3) play at church: The Christmas play is a big part of my season. In fact, I think about next year's play before this year's is even done. I love how great our kids are, how much they memorize, how skilled they are as actors, how willing they are to do what I ask of them, and how sweetly they sing of the gospel of Christmas. And if all else fails there is always the magic that happens when the youngest ones sing Away in a Manger. It's a fun night and a great reminder of why we celebrate - Christ's birth means that we are saved from our sins, at peace with God, and adopted into His family forever!
2) candle light service - On Christmas Eve we have a candle light service. I love the music and the atmosphere and being with my church family on this special holiday. But the ultimate best part is at the end. All of the lights go out, we all light candles and stand around the edge of the church in a circle and sing "Silent Night". It's so beautiful and so wonderful - that's when Christmas feels most real.
1) Christmas day with the family - like a giant slumber party with the people you love the most in the world. I guess that's exactly what it is. My family all crowds into the beach house with our presents, people, snoring, suitcases, and food. We stay up too late, get up too early, eat food all day and unwrap presents for hours. Some people come later because they have other families to go to. Some leave during the middle of the day to celebrate at other homes, but everyone comes back at night for dinner and stockings. Grandma gives us her own stockings that she prepares during the whole year. She buys so many things that go with each person. From mugs to hair ties, from lip gloss to books, her stocking stuffers are what some people would consider full blown presents. And she does this for anyone who happens to be there that night. If you are celebrating Christmas night with us, you will have a stocking. She's amazing.
I love Christmas because it is beautiful, it is sentimental, and it is filled with food and family. I think that the ultimate thing about Christmas is that it allows us all the opportunity to reflect on the real meaning of Christmas. This is not some ethereal unknown feeling of joy or wonder. The real meaning of Christmas is that God in His mercy came to earth in the most humble of forms, and revealed himself to the most humble of people. God did this to save a broken people from their sins and collect them as his own children. The miracle of Jesus and how we get to celebrate that openly is why I love this season so much.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
How freedom led to misdirection which led to overall dogmatism
I love to buy clothes for my nieces and nephew. I especially love to buy fancy clothes for fancy occasions. So does their Grandma Maurine. So we have a compromise: I get Christmas, she gets Easter. This year I decided to take Maddie with me in the process and actually let her pick it out.
So, being the cool aunt that I am, Maddie and I drove to Kohl's and made our way to the jr.'s (eek she's in the jr's) department and I let her pick away. I was fine with the idea of her choosing whatever dress she wanted. I was so excited to show Maddie how to shop Auntie Brenda style (I'm pretty good at shopping for clothes and I was eager to take my new disciple under my wing). So there are rows and rows of green and red dresses, some with bows, some with velveteen, some with both. What does my precious little baby girl choose? A purple strappy number that looks like something a high school girl might wear to a formal dance...in the spring time...in the eighties. I cringed slightly and remember that she is eight and that when I was eight I fell for the glitter and shimmer that was the eighties (it actually was the eighties when I was going through it...), but this had no Christmas spirit! I tried to play cool aunt and put the dress on my arm, waiting for the next selection.
So now Santa Baby shows up. A velveteen green dress with faux white fur on the cuffs and hem. It's actually pretty cute and mostly conservative, but it's also just not...well...not prissy. And frankly, I was and am a prissy kind of Christmas dress kind of a girl. I love a classic style that is frilly and girly. But I added it to the pile and continued on the shopping journey.
I had no idea that my little dear one was such a non-traditionalist. I never asked her what she wanted to wear before and I realized that this little one doesn't want to dress like a little one any more. And then I saw the little beauty before me. A white and red dress with little bits of silver thread throughout. It was so beautifully A-lined and tea length with a high waist wrapped in a satin bow. It came with a red velveteen bolero jacket with a single button. It was as classic little girl Christmas as you could get in a dress, but still looking modern.
"What do you think of this one?" I asked wistfully, half expecting Maddie to clap her hands in glee or sigh in joy at the thought of owning such a dress.
"Ehh," she tossed out as she thumbed through red versions of her santa baby dress.
"Let's just try it and see," I said, hoping that I could somehow convince her that this was the best choice.
When we got to the dressing room, she tried on the purple one and she was in love with it. It was actually cute, but still felt too old for my little niece. "Mom would make me wear something under it..."she sighed.
"Yeah, definitely, and if it was cold outside your arms would be uncovered..." I thought I'd try to suade her away from this choice. "Let's take a picture and then make our decision." I always take pictures of clothes when I'm not sure what I think. We took a picture and moved on.
Green Santa Baby was cute and looked actually like a kind of nod to a 1950's skating costume. It was too tight, but the little one still wanted it. "If we can find it in a bigger size, maybe."
Then she put on the one I really loved and I sighed, "Oh, man!" I was in love with this dress.
Maddie misunderstood and said, "Yeah, I like the green one better too."
"Really? What do you like about this one?" She started listing off some things and I added, "And it's a perfect spinny skirt. Spin, let me see," she did and I ohhed an ahhed.
"The green one swirls too," she said defensively.
"Well, if you had to pick your top two, what would they be?"
"The green and the purple."
"Really? Not this one? I love this one. The purple is pretty, but it's for summer..."
We tried on one more dress (brown and blue, which she liked better than my choice) and I decided to make one final move to getting what I wanted and not caring at all that my sweet niece was not getting what she wanted. "If we can find either the green dress or the brown one in a bigger size, then we will get it. Otherwise we'll get the red one. Does that sound ok?"
"Sure."
We didn't find the size and when she asked to try on another dress that was red with bedazzled jewels all throughout it, I decided that I no longer cared what my niece felt was the best choice and I was just going to have things the way I wanted them.
"No," I said, "we have to go."
And go we did with my little dress that I would have wanted when I was a little girl (and would totally buy the grown-up size, if they made it). My sweet little niece was grateful for her dress and tried it on again at home, spinning dutifully when asked to. She liked the dress and has pictures of the ones she loved and didn't get.
So I realized something - I guess I'm not ready to extend shopping freedom to my niece, but will I ever be?
So, being the cool aunt that I am, Maddie and I drove to Kohl's and made our way to the jr.'s (eek she's in the jr's) department and I let her pick away. I was fine with the idea of her choosing whatever dress she wanted. I was so excited to show Maddie how to shop Auntie Brenda style (I'm pretty good at shopping for clothes and I was eager to take my new disciple under my wing). So there are rows and rows of green and red dresses, some with bows, some with velveteen, some with both. What does my precious little baby girl choose? A purple strappy number that looks like something a high school girl might wear to a formal dance...in the spring time...in the eighties. I cringed slightly and remember that she is eight and that when I was eight I fell for the glitter and shimmer that was the eighties (it actually was the eighties when I was going through it...), but this had no Christmas spirit! I tried to play cool aunt and put the dress on my arm, waiting for the next selection.
So now Santa Baby shows up. A velveteen green dress with faux white fur on the cuffs and hem. It's actually pretty cute and mostly conservative, but it's also just not...well...not prissy. And frankly, I was and am a prissy kind of Christmas dress kind of a girl. I love a classic style that is frilly and girly. But I added it to the pile and continued on the shopping journey.
I had no idea that my little dear one was such a non-traditionalist. I never asked her what she wanted to wear before and I realized that this little one doesn't want to dress like a little one any more. And then I saw the little beauty before me. A white and red dress with little bits of silver thread throughout. It was so beautifully A-lined and tea length with a high waist wrapped in a satin bow. It came with a red velveteen bolero jacket with a single button. It was as classic little girl Christmas as you could get in a dress, but still looking modern.
"What do you think of this one?" I asked wistfully, half expecting Maddie to clap her hands in glee or sigh in joy at the thought of owning such a dress.
"Ehh," she tossed out as she thumbed through red versions of her santa baby dress.
"Let's just try it and see," I said, hoping that I could somehow convince her that this was the best choice.
When we got to the dressing room, she tried on the purple one and she was in love with it. It was actually cute, but still felt too old for my little niece. "Mom would make me wear something under it..."she sighed.
"Yeah, definitely, and if it was cold outside your arms would be uncovered..." I thought I'd try to suade her away from this choice. "Let's take a picture and then make our decision." I always take pictures of clothes when I'm not sure what I think. We took a picture and moved on.
Green Santa Baby was cute and looked actually like a kind of nod to a 1950's skating costume. It was too tight, but the little one still wanted it. "If we can find it in a bigger size, maybe."
Then she put on the one I really loved and I sighed, "Oh, man!" I was in love with this dress.
Maddie misunderstood and said, "Yeah, I like the green one better too."
"Really? What do you like about this one?" She started listing off some things and I added, "And it's a perfect spinny skirt. Spin, let me see," she did and I ohhed an ahhed.
"The green one swirls too," she said defensively.
"Well, if you had to pick your top two, what would they be?"
"The green and the purple."
"Really? Not this one? I love this one. The purple is pretty, but it's for summer..."
We tried on one more dress (brown and blue, which she liked better than my choice) and I decided to make one final move to getting what I wanted and not caring at all that my sweet niece was not getting what she wanted. "If we can find either the green dress or the brown one in a bigger size, then we will get it. Otherwise we'll get the red one. Does that sound ok?"
"Sure."
We didn't find the size and when she asked to try on another dress that was red with bedazzled jewels all throughout it, I decided that I no longer cared what my niece felt was the best choice and I was just going to have things the way I wanted them.
"No," I said, "we have to go."
And go we did with my little dress that I would have wanted when I was a little girl (and would totally buy the grown-up size, if they made it). My sweet little niece was grateful for her dress and tried it on again at home, spinning dutifully when asked to. She liked the dress and has pictures of the ones she loved and didn't get.
So I realized something - I guess I'm not ready to extend shopping freedom to my niece, but will I ever be?
Monday, December 6, 2010
It Was All Going So Poorly and Then the Blood Poured Out
This year my sixth period is my most difficult class. They are a sweet group of very immature kids. They have only finished one complete lesson before the bell rang. That means they have stayed late after school every day since September, but one. They just can't seem to stop talking and stay focused. They are like a cauldron of boiling energy just waiting to spill out over the edge. They are by no means bad kids, they are kind and loving and love me, but they have no idea how to be good students. I direct them in this daily, but it doesn't seem to stick.
Today started and I knew that it would be one of those days were I was directing and redirecting a thousand times and I would potentially lose my voice and my patience. I began class with an activity and after explaining for 5-7 minutes in detail, half the class still didn't know what to do. I went to those groups and explained it again and after another 10 minutes or so, was ready to begin the discussion that would explain the purpose of the activity. After another 3 minutes or so we finally started to get to some meaty information (now about 5 minutes behind the other classes I had taught). Kids were generally settling down and focusing and understanding.
One boy was not participating with his partner and after several reminders was slowly frustrating his capable partner, Bob. The class started to get loud and I knew we were at a breaking point. If I didn't get them to quiet down immediately, there was no hope in finishing the lesson. As I was quieting them down, Bob asked to go to the restroom (a common request when real work is at hand). I told him no and passed out the papers for their notes. Suddenly blood spewed (and I mean spewed) from Bob's nose. He stood up (bleeding all over his desk and shirt) and tried to go to the supply closet. I told him he could totally go to the bathroom. I grabbed some napkins to hand him as he was going outside and specifically said, "Don't touch anything on his desk!" I stepped outside to give him the napkins and apologized for not letting him go to the bathroom earlier.
In the 3 seconds it took for me to do this, Bob's partner was touching the bloody paper on the desk! I screamed for him to stop. All I could think of was all the communicable diseases that this kids could potentially get by handling someone's blood. I said sternly, "Are you trained in how to properly handle blood? That is so dangerous!!" I think he was trying to be helpful and was using Bob's note paper to wipe up the desk.
I then did the only thing I could do - I tried to rescue my failing lesson. I kept to my script as I donned gloves and napkins, and Clorox wipes and cleaned and disposed of the blood. Bless their hearts, but the kids were not listening to a word I had to say about cups and pints. "You look like a doctor!" "Don't doctors get paid a lot?" "Doctors get paid more than teachers." "You did a good job cleaning that up, you should be a doctor."
I did the best I could. Bob returned with blood all over his shirt and then proceeded to take all of his notes. I think we can only be expected to handle so much and there was not much more anyone could do. I guess in this class, when it bleeds, it pours.
Today started and I knew that it would be one of those days were I was directing and redirecting a thousand times and I would potentially lose my voice and my patience. I began class with an activity and after explaining for 5-7 minutes in detail, half the class still didn't know what to do. I went to those groups and explained it again and after another 10 minutes or so, was ready to begin the discussion that would explain the purpose of the activity. After another 3 minutes or so we finally started to get to some meaty information (now about 5 minutes behind the other classes I had taught). Kids were generally settling down and focusing and understanding.
One boy was not participating with his partner and after several reminders was slowly frustrating his capable partner, Bob. The class started to get loud and I knew we were at a breaking point. If I didn't get them to quiet down immediately, there was no hope in finishing the lesson. As I was quieting them down, Bob asked to go to the restroom (a common request when real work is at hand). I told him no and passed out the papers for their notes. Suddenly blood spewed (and I mean spewed) from Bob's nose. He stood up (bleeding all over his desk and shirt) and tried to go to the supply closet. I told him he could totally go to the bathroom. I grabbed some napkins to hand him as he was going outside and specifically said, "Don't touch anything on his desk!" I stepped outside to give him the napkins and apologized for not letting him go to the bathroom earlier.
In the 3 seconds it took for me to do this, Bob's partner was touching the bloody paper on the desk! I screamed for him to stop. All I could think of was all the communicable diseases that this kids could potentially get by handling someone's blood. I said sternly, "Are you trained in how to properly handle blood? That is so dangerous!!" I think he was trying to be helpful and was using Bob's note paper to wipe up the desk.
I then did the only thing I could do - I tried to rescue my failing lesson. I kept to my script as I donned gloves and napkins, and Clorox wipes and cleaned and disposed of the blood. Bless their hearts, but the kids were not listening to a word I had to say about cups and pints. "You look like a doctor!" "Don't doctors get paid a lot?" "Doctors get paid more than teachers." "You did a good job cleaning that up, you should be a doctor."
I did the best I could. Bob returned with blood all over his shirt and then proceeded to take all of his notes. I think we can only be expected to handle so much and there was not much more anyone could do. I guess in this class, when it bleeds, it pours.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Happy Thanksgiving!
I love holidays and traditions and food and lists. Also, I think Thanksgiving sometimes gets the short end of the stick as far as holidays go. So I decided to give Thanksgiving a bit of a shout out by making my top ten for this year's Thanksgiving.
10. The food was awesome! Yes, I know, food is not the center of the celebration (or shouldn't be) but it kind of is. Why did the pilgrims celebrate the first Thanksgiving? Because they had food when they thought they were going to starve to death. Because they survived a year (with the help of the native Americans) when they thought they would not. At my house, there is no fear of starvation. I do mean to brag when I say that my mom is the best cook ever. She makes the best everything. This year there was a great fear that the burden would fall on other shoulders, but thankfully, Mom came through and the food was wonderful.
9. My mom was healthy...ish. On Thanksgiving eve, I showed up to do some day before prep with Mom only to find that she was suffering from an allergic reaction to something. Dad comforted her all night as she really suffered (it was pretty horrible). Dann and I set the table and started cooking with plans to take over the big stuff in the morning. Yet, the next day Mom was up and at 'em. She was the least stressed I've ever seen her and we still had wonderful food. Plus, she was not miserable.
8. Other people really helped a lot. Because of Mom not feeling well, everyone else pitched in and helped big time. Many hands make light work (or at least lighter). It made for a really wonderful time with my brothers, sister-in-law, and dad all helping me and Mom make everything. I don't even know who cleaned up (I took a nap), but it was really nice to have so many people helping.
7. I learned a new game. My brother, Dann, brought a new game called Dominion. I was pretty sure I would be forced to play and then just bear with it, but it was awesome. I think we will have another round at Christmas time. I lost every game but one and I still love it. Don't ask me to explain it, because it's too hard to explain and it sounds even dorkier than it really is.
6. The Post family came over. Our Thanksgiving included several members of the Post clan and they were a welcome addition. They are family and they also bring really good food :) It was a great time.
5. The night ended with me snuggling with Michael first and then Maddie and Natalie. Maddie and I finally fell asleep on the couch together. It was a pretty great ending.
4. Cooking with my mom. I love cooking with my mom. She's so good at it and I feel so empowered when I work with her. Even though there were lots of helpers, there was a time in the morning where it was just us. She and I made up a stuffing recipe and it was just fabulous (my favorite stuffing yet). I just love spending time with her in her kitchen...have you seen her kitchen? Who wouldn't have a great time in it?
3. Not shopping on black Friday. For the past few years Uncle Dave and I have gone shopping on black Friday. We have a great time, because he's so awesome, but I also spend money on things I don't need, feel sleepy and hungry and unshowered and generally blah by the end of the day. I decided not to go this year and actually sleep in and shower today. Erin took my place (and she is now the reigning 'best granddaughter') and I am a little sad I missed out on some fun, but I think it was the right choice.
2. Michael said the best thing. Dann was taking apart the presentation turkey (the one that is beautiful and sits on the table that we use for leftovers) and taking out what mom had put in it: apples, onions, rosemary, thyme. As he took out each item, he said it out loud. Then Michael said, "Is that what the turkey ate?"
1. Singing with CC. Every year, after the meal, aunt Nancy and I sing Christmas songs and pick out what we're going to sing for the Christmas Eve service. We then convince Mom to sing too and it's so pretty. We sing harmonies that make us shiver. I love singing with my family!
So I had a really wonderful Thanksgiving. I thought I'd end with a question and answer session I had with Maddie and Michael.
Me: Who are we thankful to on Thanksgiving?
Michael: God.
Me: And what are we thankful for?
Maddie: Everything God provides.
That about sums it up.
10. The food was awesome! Yes, I know, food is not the center of the celebration (or shouldn't be) but it kind of is. Why did the pilgrims celebrate the first Thanksgiving? Because they had food when they thought they were going to starve to death. Because they survived a year (with the help of the native Americans) when they thought they would not. At my house, there is no fear of starvation. I do mean to brag when I say that my mom is the best cook ever. She makes the best everything. This year there was a great fear that the burden would fall on other shoulders, but thankfully, Mom came through and the food was wonderful.
9. My mom was healthy...ish. On Thanksgiving eve, I showed up to do some day before prep with Mom only to find that she was suffering from an allergic reaction to something. Dad comforted her all night as she really suffered (it was pretty horrible). Dann and I set the table and started cooking with plans to take over the big stuff in the morning. Yet, the next day Mom was up and at 'em. She was the least stressed I've ever seen her and we still had wonderful food. Plus, she was not miserable.
8. Other people really helped a lot. Because of Mom not feeling well, everyone else pitched in and helped big time. Many hands make light work (or at least lighter). It made for a really wonderful time with my brothers, sister-in-law, and dad all helping me and Mom make everything. I don't even know who cleaned up (I took a nap), but it was really nice to have so many people helping.
7. I learned a new game. My brother, Dann, brought a new game called Dominion. I was pretty sure I would be forced to play and then just bear with it, but it was awesome. I think we will have another round at Christmas time. I lost every game but one and I still love it. Don't ask me to explain it, because it's too hard to explain and it sounds even dorkier than it really is.
6. The Post family came over. Our Thanksgiving included several members of the Post clan and they were a welcome addition. They are family and they also bring really good food :) It was a great time.
5. The night ended with me snuggling with Michael first and then Maddie and Natalie. Maddie and I finally fell asleep on the couch together. It was a pretty great ending.
4. Cooking with my mom. I love cooking with my mom. She's so good at it and I feel so empowered when I work with her. Even though there were lots of helpers, there was a time in the morning where it was just us. She and I made up a stuffing recipe and it was just fabulous (my favorite stuffing yet). I just love spending time with her in her kitchen...have you seen her kitchen? Who wouldn't have a great time in it?
3. Not shopping on black Friday. For the past few years Uncle Dave and I have gone shopping on black Friday. We have a great time, because he's so awesome, but I also spend money on things I don't need, feel sleepy and hungry and unshowered and generally blah by the end of the day. I decided not to go this year and actually sleep in and shower today. Erin took my place (and she is now the reigning 'best granddaughter') and I am a little sad I missed out on some fun, but I think it was the right choice.
2. Michael said the best thing. Dann was taking apart the presentation turkey (the one that is beautiful and sits on the table that we use for leftovers) and taking out what mom had put in it: apples, onions, rosemary, thyme. As he took out each item, he said it out loud. Then Michael said, "Is that what the turkey ate?"
1. Singing with CC. Every year, after the meal, aunt Nancy and I sing Christmas songs and pick out what we're going to sing for the Christmas Eve service. We then convince Mom to sing too and it's so pretty. We sing harmonies that make us shiver. I love singing with my family!
So I had a really wonderful Thanksgiving. I thought I'd end with a question and answer session I had with Maddie and Michael.
Me: Who are we thankful to on Thanksgiving?
Michael: God.
Me: And what are we thankful for?
Maddie: Everything God provides.
That about sums it up.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
A Perspective on Pity
I have a wonderfully shy student this year. I like shy students because I think shy people are cool and I like to befriend them and let them know that I think they are cool. Still waters run deep, as they say. So my wonderfully shy student has a very demanding father who wrote on her first test (on which she scored a B grade), "You can do better" and he wrote on her second test (on which she scored an A) "Next time don't miss any." This drew my pity for her. I thought that she must have a difficult time living with a father so hard to please.
She asked to stay after school for some help on some homework problems which was fine by me. We worked for about thirty minutes. At the end of it she said, "I wish I could stay with you." My heart thumped a little as I thought of this poor girl wanting to find solace away from unkindness. She continued, "We could do math problems together." I said, "Like a math slumber party? We'd eat popcorn, watch movies, and do math problems? We should have all the girls come to our math party." I smiled at her thinking of how sweet it was that my student admired me and wanted to have me as a friend.
She continued, "I sometimes see you leaving work and you look sad. I think you must be lonely."
What? Beyond the kind of stalker aspect of this (she's not creepy, she just stays late after school) I was thinking that I am almost always smiling, but I guess as I leave all I can think of is how tired I am. "I'm not sad, I'm just tired," I responded.
"So you go home to your parents?"
"No, I live very close to my parents, so I see them a lot."
"You go home to your brothers?"
"No, I live in my own house. And I get to live with my best friend from Jr. High!"
"Oh, so you don't live with your family."
I then could see the pity in her face. I guess she wanted to take pity on the lonely school marm who stays too late and leaves looking a little sad and a little lonely. I sure don't feel sad or lonely, maybe she doesn't feel shy or like her father is hard on her. I guess it's all in your perspective.
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