Wreckless Cooking While Under the Influence of a Stupid Teen Novel

So before you can understand the depths of my sadness you must understand two facts: 1) I once read that the kitchen sink is filled with more germs than a toilet. Since then I've been petrified of anything that touches the sink. 2) I hate to waste food. Wasting food has been ingrained in me as the worst kind of evil.
    So every morning I make shakes for me and my roommate for breakfast. These shakes sometimes can be hard to blend if I add too many berries. This morning's shakes were a killer. I spent half the time mixing it by hand to get all the berries to the bottom and it took me twice as long to make. I was running late for church and I was trying to put everything back when I knocked my cup into the sink. "Noooo!" I screamed. I had no other quick breakfast food to bring with me and I didn't know what to do. I saw the shake in the sink and I thought, "scoop or not to scoop" I had this argument in my head between oh-the-money and oh-the-germs. I got a spoon and scooped the top section off the surface and dumped it into my shake. I then poured a little of Julie's shake into mine and warned her that she needed to have a little extra food with her breakfast. I tried not to think of the germs as I made my way to church. Julie keeps the sink impeccably clean, so it's probably just my own ocd that makes me freak out.
    This evening I made chicken and rice soup for dinner. Once everything's prepped it's mostly just stirring, so I brought in a chair and my book. Once my mise en place was set up with seasonings, I just stirred and read. And then my book got really good. You see, Anna just realized that she was in love with St.Clair and she just got back to Paris and she wasn't sure if they could maintain their friendship now that she was aware of her feelings and he bought her a banana charm and it was so sweet...and then I needed to add the seasonings. So I opened up the bottle of thyme and started to shake as I continued to read. The bottle felt strangely empty and I realized the thyme bottle is my only spice bottle that has no shaker lid, just an open top.

   I gasped as I looked at the entire contents of my thyme bottle floating on the surface of my boiling soup. I grabbed a spoon and scooped out as much as I could and laughed at myself. I always have a problem with underseasoning, I guess I would not have that problem today. The soup turned out pretty good, but I guess I need to pay better attention when I cook. Apparently I can no longer read and cook at the same time. The soup turned out fine but I now need to buy some more thyme...if I could have thyme in a bottle, I would put a shaker spout on it.

I need to focus better when I cook

Wait, This Isn't the Shower for Bridget?

About ten years ago or so, my friend, Aleta, went to a party where a girl suddenly burst in, tripped, spilled all of the articles from her purse, collected her things and quickly left. This was actually a game. The party attendees were supposed to write down as many things they could remember about this mystery guest. For ten years she has told me about how she would love to do that and today, that dream has come true - only better.
   Aleta threw a baby shower today for a friend at church. I didn't know most of the people there (I knew 3), but I came as the mystery guest. I dressed up in a bold print dress and my vintage Audry Hepburn hat and showed up thirty minutes late to the shower. Guests were building scrapbook pages for the mom to be and I wandered around the room, waiting for an opportunity to get to know people.
   The night before, I was in a panic. I did not have a good back story to my character and I needed a reason to: a) be at a shower and not know anyone there b) have people frequently see the contents of my purse. Finally this morning at around 9, I had come up with a solution that seemed easy and probable. In my story, my mom was supposed to come to the shower and she suddenly got ill. She asked me to go in her place so I could bring a present and take pictures of what happened.
    Back at the shower I finally sat down to do my page for the scrapbook. I introduced myself to all sorts of people (including accidentally introducing myself to the mom-to-be who looked a little confused as to why a stranger was at her party). I got up the courage to talk to my first group.
  "Hi, do you mind if I take your picture? My mom was supposed to come and she got sick so she wanted me to take pictures so I could show her later." I then proceeded to pull out several items from my purse as I looked for my camera. Those items included several books, anti-bacterial gel, sunglasses, and I think even some chapstick. I finally pulled out my pink camera and snapped a shot. I repeated this 6 times throughout the party at each table. Some people saw me take out my stuff a couple times and I'm sure they wondered why I didn't just keep my camera out.
   We sat down for food and I felt like I was giving an unfair advantage to my table mates as I was talking longer with them, but they were just so entertaining and interesting that I was actually giving them true facts about myself that I didn't even intend to include: my city, my church city, my most recent vacations, my gluten intolerance, my penchant for French food, the fact that I speak a little German, and about my blogging. One girl at my table had never had a chocolate covered strawberry before. I took a picture of her second bite and she looked like she loved it. She even said she had to thank the mom-to-be for getting pregnant so that she could try chocolate covered strawberries. Such a fun group.
   Then Aleta stood up to start the games. She had told everyone there was to be a game of memory requiring you to be perceptive. She had a tray of baby items on display and started to cover them.
   "Oh, but first, I just want to welcome you all to Carrie's baby shower..."
   I covered my mouth with my hands and then said, "Wait, who? Carrie?"
   "Yes"
   "This isn't the shower for Bridget?"
   "No, it's for Carrie."
   I stood up and covered my mouth again, "I'm so embarrassed. I'm at the wrong shower, wait, not Bridget, right?"
   Aleta shook her head no.
   "I'm so embarrassed." I started to walk out from the front of the hall to the back end passing each table to get to the exit. "It was really nice meeting you all. I can't believe I did this!"
   Then as I was about to leave, a woman told me to wait and she took out her camera and took my picture. I stopped and said, "Oh, I better get the present."
   I walked back to the gift table and took my gift off of it and ran out the door hearing people laugh, as they were trying to be polite and hold it in.
   I got to my car, shut the door, and laughed heartily. I was on a high for hours. It was just like acting again only even better! The people at the shower then had to list as many facts they could remember about me. I wish I could have overheard their reactions when they found out the true story. After the game was over, Aleta texted me saying they wanted me to come back, now that they knew who I was. The woman sitting at the table with me won (unfair advantage since she was so nice to talk to), but a woman at the first table I took a picture of got second place with 13 facts correct. She was a pro since I probably spent only 1 minute total with them.
   That was so much fun! I can't believe it worked out so perfectly. What a fun thing to play such a great role in making a friend's ten-year long dream come true.

What is Purple For?

Today is pi day and I really like to celebrate it. I mostly like to do this because I never let my kids have a day off. It's nice for them to get some relief from the normal day and also do something fun. We were talking a little bit about pi in the teacher's lounge and a fellow teacher asked, "Does pi really go on forever without repeating?"

"Yes, it's irrational," several math teachers responded at once.

"Irrational, what's that mean?"

"That it goes on forever without repeating," I responded.

"But how do you know? Are there other numbers that do this?"

             I was a little surprised, but I continued on and with the assistance of other math teachers, we started to explain about square roots of numbers like 7 or 10 and how we can approximate the decimal value of those numbers by multiplying by a series of more precise decimals that narrow down the upper and lower bounds, but that you can never find the exact decimal value of your answer. It makes more sense if I can explain it with a white board and some markers, but he understood.

"But what's it for?"

       What's it for? That threw me. Does it have to be for something? It's like teaching someone colors and they point to a swatch of color and ask,  'what's that?' and you say, 'purple' and they say, 'what's it for?' Purple's not for anything. I guess we use the word to describe things that are that color, but it's not like we'd be in an emergency situation asking if anyone nearby has some purple.

      I finally figured out that he was asking how it was used in math or life and I explained that you would use irrational numbers to describe the length of the hypotenuse of certain right triangles. Kind of like asking, "What things are purple?" which is a much more valid question.

     It made me realize that people think that math is like art or poetry or movies. And in one sense, it certainly is like those things in that it is beautiful, allows people to be creative, stimulates the mind and fills up a lot of our time. But it is different in that it is not made up. I mean there are parts of it that people just make up and we all agree on it, but in principal, math is not created, it is discovered. He thought that someone made up the idea of irrational numbers and then tried to use it, when really irrational numbers exist and someone finally found them and named them.

    Let's take pi, for instance. Pi was named pi by a Welsh dude in 1706 (William Jones). Why? Because he made up the name. With good reason and all that, but he made it up. That was his creative choice and a bunch of people agreed and now math cannon causes us all to follow this choice (or not, if you feel a little rebellious). But the essence of pi, it's existence and the refinement of our knowledge about pi is not created by the whim of a smart nerd. It is discovered. A bunch of people from ancient times on noticed that the circumference of a circle divided by its diameter is always equal to the same number, no matter what circle. When you get a constant like that, it seems like it might be interesting to study. So people did: Greeks, Egyptians, Babylonians, Israelites (Pi is mentioned in the Bible!!), and Chinese among others.

       Archimedes (on my top ten list for cool dead guys) refined our knowledge about pi and even gave it some upper and lower bounds. Not because he arbitrarily and creatively sat down to make up some number, but because he studied this number and found out some true things about it.

    So to summarize: Edison did not create electricity, neither did Ben Franklin, math and science are discovered. No group or body of people said, " What do you think we should make 2 + 5  equal?" 2 + 5 = 7 because we labeled (the creativity part) ** + ***** = ******* with certain symbols. This creativity part doesn't change the number of cows I have if I had 2 and you gave me 5. Who decided it was 7? It just is! The label may change, but the amount of cows I have does not.

   So there is my rant about how people think math is some made up set of arbitrary rules that people memorize so they can be super nerdy and prove that they have better memories than you. Math is about logical analysis of the world around us and it is described using a specific language. Ok, I feel a little better, thanks.

  I'm going to end this with my Pi-Ku for today. It's like a Haiku only with a 3-1-4 pattern
Oh, pi day,
joy
you bring to all

What is Love: A Junior High Perspective

I always ask my kids a non-math related question at the end of each test. The latest one was, "What is love? Give an example." and I got quite a few great answers and I thought I'd share some of them with you all.

Love is like a fat kid and food.

A four letter word

Love is finding happiness. It is unexplainable, but still it exists. Although it is not perfect, it can be healing or painful. The joy of a loved one around you is also different from the pain of losing a loved one. It can be found in the hardest places, but still it is there. It can be love for friends or family, each love has a different meaning. People say it is hard to find, but it is everywhere. The pain of losing your beloved dog is so terrifyingly hard to forget, while cuddling on a couch during the cold winter is very warm. It is different in every situation and person. It is undefined.

What is love? Baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.

Love is where people are willing to care for one another. To love someone that is not blood related to you is the most difficult and magnificent of all. If two people are willing to set aside their differences and are willing to protect one another. The couple must feel comfortable around each other and not let anything stop them from loving each other. This is love, the way it should be.

...sorry, I got nothing...

Backward it would spell Evol (Evil) Coincidence?

1. I believe there is a song with that title.
2. Scientifically, it is the urge in animals to reproduce. That's all.

God is love; He sent His only son to die for us.


    And that, my friends, is why I teach.

Loving Literature and Teaching Literature are Not the Same Thing

I love books. I love to read them and share them and talk about them. I love to analyze them and hear what other people think of them. When I was given the opportunity to teach a before school literature class once a week for an academic competition coming up, I jumped at the chance. I think I am a pretty good teacher and I really love teaching these academic team classes because there's no homework and everyone wants to be there. It's just learning for the sake of learning and it's fun.

  I read the book we were assigned to read, The Wanderer, and I really enjoyed it. Like all good literature, it was boring until it wasn't. There was a great twist eight chapters in and the ending made me cry. That's always a great sign. It has tons of symbolism that's really easy to see and the themes and tone are also easy to identify.  I even asked an English teacher friend of mine for advice on how to teach the novel. In addition to the novel, we were given three poems to discuss. I really liked the poems and couldn't wait to share them with my kids.

  I had visions of my kids sitting at my feet drinking in my literary wisdom and becoming deep thinkers themselves in the process. I could envision the lively conversations with kids shouting back and forth about their opinions, maybe even passionately debating a point or two.

  This was my vision, and it's sorta coming true but not really. They are doing a great job and trying really hard, but I feel like I keep saying, "So what does that mean?" waiting for a few kids to respond and then saying, "Yeah, here's what I think." I realized that loving something and being good at teaching it are two different things. I love math. I am good at teaching it. So it seemed like the natural chain of events. But I came to realize that my love for math is not what makes me good at teaching it. It is the fact that math never came naturally to me that makes me good at teaching it. Math was always a harder subject for me than English or history. So to help myself learn it, I made up weird stories or tricks. Integers aren't integers, they are warriors facing a battle of good vs. evil. And as far as trig goes, Sine is a girl and Cosine is a boy. They are siblings who both depend on their father figure, Tangent (don't make me explain that one to you, it only really makes sense to me.) So I teach math in this unconventional way and that helps my students enjoy it and understand it.

  I have trouble helping my kids see Literature in a more exciting way, because to me it is just by itself lovely and exciting. The beautiful flow of words in Byron's poem, "Solitude" just make me smile, while my kids get lost among the e'en's and 'tis' and 'twixt's. The good news is they are so smart and so willing to learn that as soon as the language is cleared up, they dive right in and analyze the poem for all it's worth. They didn't cry as they read the last few chapters of the book ("Is that Sophie, my Sophie?") but they certainly got a kick out of it when I cried as I read it to them. We knocked out some good vocab words (Kid 1:"What does 'smite the sounding furrows' mean again?" Kid 2: "Remember how God smote Ms. Dempsey's ipod touch because she was addicted to that cake game?" Kid 1:"Oh, yeah!") and they are better at identifying tone and simile.

  I just know that any success they have in literature will have more to do with their skills, than with mine. But even though I am faced with a weekly challenge of how to teach critical literary thinking and I feel totally not prepared for the task, I would do it again in a heartbeat. I certainly have even more respect for all of you English teachers out there and if you have any good teaching tips, I'll take 'em.

An Interesting Day in Paradise: POs and Henna Tattoos

         Today was one of those days I both wished I had a film crew following me and was thankful that I did not. I feel like today was a perfect core sample of the full spectrum of things teachers deal with. I had brilliant and honest students come in at lunch to finish their tests, but they refused to get their own tests because they were nervous about seeing other student's answers and possibly cheating - not kidding.

       So that group left and my fifth period entered with engines roaring and little desire to do anything but torment each other. Actually it was just three kids who were really excited about making the other one's mad. I was aware of the taunting, but unaware of the actual words being tossed around. I corrected it with a little prompting and not much more than that, but I could feel the tension in one of my kids. I could see the daggers in his eyes as he stared back at the student behind him who had gone too far. After class, the drama broke out into full blown threats and tears and kids running to and from me. I still didn't get the whole story, but I had to call the office to make sure a fight didn't break out.

     It turns out that one of the kids started telling heinous 'your mama' jokes to the kid he hates the most (after the fat jokes weren't getting enough of a reaction). Well, the other student's mom is going through some really difficult stuff right now and it's probably the most sensitive issue this kid has in his life, so the comments caused this tough kid to cry. His friend wanted to retaliate, but my strong little man didn't let him and he was so courteous to me when all he wanted to do was punch this kid for his rudeness. There will be consequences tomorrow and I guess I have some seating charts to change...

   Sixth period was ok. I did, in my frustration from fifth, tell them, "If you don't want to be here, that's fine. Just go outside and don't bother those of us who want to learn..." Not the most gracious of responses to the two kids who were messing around all period, but they packed up their stuff and chose to spend the period outside. I hope they were disappointed when they heard the class laughing and having a good time without them - because, yes, I am that petty.

   After school was a mad house. I had kids asking for help, finishing tests, correcting homework, and needing to know how they could raise their grades. One of the other math teachers was out today, so her students came to my room for clarification of the lesson. Another student was patiently waiting to give me a gift from Pakistan - a henna tattoo. So after I ran math class triage and got everyone to a point where they could work independently, I sat down for my tattoo.

  My student is a fabulous artist and I now have a very pretty tattoo on my palm and wrist. Other girls were in awe of this art form they had never seen before. So this student used the extra henna to do their palms too. I felt a little silly when a dad came to pick up his daughter. I tried to hide my arm as I explained to him what work she still needed to do at home.

   After my office hour, two students from three years ago stopped by to tell me about their lives. They didn't make grades to do sports, one had been arrested once for stealing headphones regularly from Target and selling them for profit to his classmates. He only had to pay a fine and he served no time. I suppose I can at least be grateful that his entrepreneurial attitude was partly inspired by the classroom economy we had in my class. The other student was arrested twice: once for vandalism and the other time for accessory to a theft. The arrests were a week apart.

   I am sometimes shocked at the ease with which I can now say the words, "So, is your PO a good guy? Does he get on your case about school?" I lectured them about not wasting their lives and never being so stupid again. We reminisced about how their lying and stealing had manifested itself in my class and how they had been caught. These were my parting words as they left to serve some community service time, "Don't get arrested again! No more! I don't want to hear any more about you guys doing something so stupid. Oh, and say hi to Alex."

    *Sigh*, sometimes I wish I could just hide under the covers and pretend that the world isn't broken... I suppose I can just look at my tattoo or grade my tests taken with integrity and realize that there is hope for some of my kids and if there is not hope there is at least a large amount of chocolate.

My Christmas Top Ten

I love top ten lists and Christmas so here is my list of my top favorite Christmas traditions. It's hard to narrow the list down, but here's my best attempt:

10) Clothes: Yes, that's right, clothes. I love dressing up and I love winter clothes. I love coats and scarves and gloves and turtlenecks and fuzzy socks and different shades of red and green. I love getting Christmas dresses and making my poor nieces wear the dresses I wish I could wear. I love feeling snuggley all day long. I'm thankful that the weather is cold enough right now to merit my wearing winter weather clothes.

9) Decorations: It begins right at Thanksgiving break. I decorate my classroom with twinkle lights, ribbons and garland. Then I go to my mom's house and we decorate her tree (I refuse to let her do this without me). We talk about the history of all of her ornaments and where they all came from. We stare at the tree from afar with lights on and off and then move one ornament 2 inches to the right or decide to switch a red one with a white one to get a good balance. We then make Dad come and give his opinion which is always, "Beautiful!" Mom has to occasionally corral me in as I dance away to listen to music or get something to drink and get distracted. It's a great time.
   Then I get to my tree with my roommate which takes us at most ten minutes to select and then a little longer to decorate. It's an eclectic tree filled with ornaments that were mostly gifts from other people. We get a wreath and put up our lights which are on a remote. We then joke about who must bear the difficult burden of turning the lights off at night (a task that requires the pressing of one button).

8) Movies: I love Christmas movies! The Cheesier the better. I've written many blogs about this subject so I don't think I need to expand much on this except that I love Elf, BFC, and White Christmas probably the best.

7)eggnog/ cocomotion: I love eggnog. The end. I love cocomotion. Cocomotion was a gag gift my mom gave me several years ago that has become a beloved appliance. Everyone was getting coffee machines and I don't drink coffee so mom got me a hot coco machine instead. It both stirs and heats the hot chocolate to a perfect temperature. Not too hot and not too cold. It is a miracle machine that makes chocolatey goodness and I hope it lasts another ten years.

6)  gifts: Yes, I have a million people I buy presents for and yes, I'm sure I could spend that money on better things, but there is a special thrill when you find the perfect gift for someone and you can't wait to give it to him or her. On Christmas day there are so many presents at my Aunt and Uncle's house that we feel a sense of gluttony, but it doesn't stop us from all buying for each other.

5)music: I love listening to my favorite Christmas albums (which I've also blogged about). There are just some songs that whisk you back to your childhood or make you suddenly feel like Christmas is really here. I love listening to the KOST. My brother Paul and I leave each other fake KOSTmas wishes on our phones. We'll call each other up and leave cheesey messages and dedications for the Christmas season. It's one of the few times we hope the other doesn't answer the phone so we can leave a long and sappy message and dedicate real or fake songs to each other.

4)  singing: I know this seems like a repeat of the previous one, but I consider this one different because this is not just listening to music, but singing it out. I love to carol with people (I've gone three times this year) and I especially love singing special music stuff at church: choir songs, songs with the kids, tight harmonies with my mom and aunt, or the one note chorus on Christmas night. The one note chorus was started by my roommate and her sister and was quickly stolen by my family. We sit in a circle and start to sing a Christmas song, but each person only sings one note at a time. So I would sing the first note and then the person next to me would sing the next note and so on and so on. I love singing "Angels We Have Heard on High" this way because the Gloria is super silly.

3)  play at church: The Christmas play is a big part of my season. In fact, I think about next year's play before this year's is even done. I love how great our kids are, how much they memorize, how skilled they are as actors, how willing they are to do what I ask of them, and how sweetly they sing of the gospel of Christmas. And if all else fails there is always the magic that happens when the youngest ones sing Away in a Manger. It's a fun night and a great reminder of why we celebrate - Christ's birth means that we are saved from our sins, at peace with God, and adopted into His family forever!

2) candle light service - On Christmas Eve we have a candle light service. I love the music and the atmosphere and being with my church family on this special holiday. But the ultimate best part is at the end. All of the lights go out, we all light candles and stand around the edge of the church in a circle and sing "Silent Night". It's so beautiful and so wonderful - that's when Christmas feels most real.

1) Christmas day with the family - like a giant slumber party with the people you love the most in the world. I guess that's exactly what it is. My family all crowds into the beach house with our presents, people, snoring, suitcases, and food. We stay up too late, get up too early, eat food all day and unwrap presents for hours. Some people come later because they have other families to go to. Some leave during the middle of the day to celebrate at other homes, but everyone comes back at night for dinner and stockings. Grandma gives us her own stockings that she prepares during the whole year. She buys so many things that go with each person. From mugs to hair ties, from lip gloss to books, her stocking stuffers are what some people would consider full blown presents. And she does this for anyone who happens to be there that night. If you are celebrating Christmas night with us, you will have a stocking. She's amazing.

I love Christmas because it is beautiful, it is sentimental, and it is filled with food and family. I think that the ultimate thing about Christmas is that it allows us all the opportunity to reflect on the real meaning of Christmas. This is not some ethereal unknown feeling of joy or wonder. The real meaning of Christmas is that God in His mercy came to earth in the most humble of forms, and revealed himself to the most humble of people. God did this to save a broken people from their sins and collect them as his own children. The miracle of Jesus and how we get to celebrate that openly is why I love this season so much.